Mrs. Barnes appeared at breakfast with any misgivings she may have had
last night gone, for when I suggested they should spend this hot weather
up here she immediately accepted. I hadn't slept for thinking of them.
How could I possibly not ask them to stay, seeing their discomfort and
my roominess? Towards morning it was finally clear to me that it wasn't
possible: I would ask them. Though, remembering the look in Mrs.
Barnes's eye the last thing last night, I couldn't be sure she would
accept. She might want to find out about me first, after the cautious
and hampering way of women,--oh, I wish women wouldn't always be so
cautious, but simply get on with their friendships! She might first want
assurances that there was some good reason for my being here all by
myself. Alas, there isn't a good reason; there is only a bad one. But,
fortunately, to be alone is generally regarded as respectable, in spite
of what Seneca says a philosopher said to a young man he saw walking by
himself: 'Have a care,' said he, 'of lewd company.'
However, I don't suppose Mrs. Barnes knew about Seneca. Anyhow she
didn't hesitate. She accepted at once, and said that under these
circumstances it was certainly due to me to tell me a little about
themselves.
At this I got my dean ready to meet the Lord Mayor, but after all I was
told nothing more than that my guests are sisters; for at this point,
very soon arrived at, the younger one, Mrs. Jewks, who had slipped away
on our getting up from breakfast, reappeared with the toques and gloves,
and said she thought they had better start before it got any hotter.
So they went, and the long day here has been most beautiful--so
peaceful, so quiet, with the delicate mountains like opals against the
afternoon sky, and the shadows lengthening along the valley.
I don't feel to-day as I did yesterday, that I want to talk. To-day I am
content with things exactly as they are: the sun, the silence, the
caresses of the funny little white kitten with the smudge of black round
its left eye that makes it look as though it must be somebody's wife,
and the pleasant knowledge that my new friends are coming back again.
I think that knowledge makes to-day more precious. It is the last day
for some time, for at least a week judging from the look of the blazing
sky, of what I see now that they are ending have been wonderful days. Up
the ladder of these days I have climbed slowly away from the blackness
at the bottom. It has been like finding some steps under water just as
one was drowning, and crawling up them to air and light. But now that I
have got at least most of myself back to air and light, and feel hopeful
of not slipping down again, it is surely time to arise, shake myself,
and begin to do something active and fruitful. And behold, just as I
realise this, just as I realise that I am, so to speak, ripe for
fruit-bearing, there appear on the scene Mrs. Barnes and Mrs. Jewks, as
it were the midwives of Providence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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