Mrs. Barnes looked at her with what I thought was a slight uneasiness,
and rebuked her. 'You shouldn't,' she said. 'After thirty-nine no woman
should willingly be Dolly.'
'I still feel exactly _like_ Dolly,' murmured Mrs. Jewks.
'It's a misfortune,' said Mrs. Barnes, shaking her head. 'To be called
Dolly after a certain age is bad enough, but it is far worse to feel
like it. What I think of,' she said, turning to me, 'is when we are
really old,--in bath chairs, unable to walk, and no doubt being spoon
fed, and yet obliged to continue to be called by these names. It will
rob us of dignity.'
'I don't think I'll mind,' murmured Mrs. Jewks. 'I shall still feel
exactly _like_ Dolly.'
Mrs. Barnes looked at her, again I thought with uneasiness--with,
really, an air of rather anxious responsibility.
And afterwards, when her sister had gone indoors for something, she
expounded a theory she said she held, the soundness of which had often
been proved to her by events, that names had much influence on
behaviour.
'Not half as much,' I thought (but didn't say), 'as underclothes.' And
indeed I have for years been acquainted with somebody called Trixy, who
for steady gloom and heaviness of spirit would be hard to equal. Also I
know an Isolda; a most respectable married woman, of a sprightly humour
and much nimbleness in dodging big emotions.
'Dolly,' said Mrs. Barnes, 'has never, I am sorry to say, shared my
opinion. If she had, many things in her life would have been different,
for then she would have been on her guard as I have been. I am glad to
say there is nothing I have ever done since I ceased to be a child that
has been even remotely compatible with being called Kitty.'
I said I thought that was a great deal to be able to say. It suggested,
I said, quite an unusually blameless past. Through my brain ran for an
instant the vision of that devil who, seeking his tail, met Antoine in
the passage. I blushed. Fortunately Mrs. Barnes didn't notice.
'What did Dol--what did Mrs. Jewks do,' I said, 'that you think was the
direct result of her Christian name? Don't tell me if my question is
indiscreet, which I daresay it is, because I know I often am, but your
theory interests me.'
Mrs. Barnes hesitated a moment. She was, I think, turning over in her
mind whether she would give herself the relief of complete unreserve, or
continue for a few more days to skim round on the outskirts of
confidences. This was yesterday. After all, she had only been with me
two days.
She considered awhile, then decided that two days wasn't long enough, so
only said: 'My sister is sometimes a little rash,--or perhaps I should
say has been. But the effects of rashness are felt for a long time;
usually for the rest of one's life.'
'Yes,' I agreed; and thought ruefully of some of my own.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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