'It's braw crackin' about tatlin' tongues,' said Peter Malloch, 'but wadna we be giein' the enemy grund to blaspheme? an' that's clean contrar' to Scripter. A bonny tale the reseeduaries wad mak o't a', gin it cam to their lugs! They're aye sayin', as it is, 'at the unco gude (an' that means hiz) are nae better nor ither folk, but a hantle waur. An' as for Mester Brown an' his giein', there's mair ways o' doin' gude nor juist giein siller to feckless bodies 'at canna help themsels. What for canna hie gie a help to the honest hard workin' folk 'at's fechtin' their best to gar baith ends meet, an' support the lawfu' tred o' his ain glen? "Claw me an' I'se claw ye," is gude plen Scotch. Gin folk peys their pennies intil the Sustentation Fund reglar, it's gey an yerksom to see the minister's family gae by the door, an' dale wi' outsiders. It'll be a week come the morn 'at the carrier frae Inverlyon brocht them a muckle creel fu' o' groceries. What wad come to the tred o' the glen gin a' body dealt that gate?' 'Hoot, Peter,' snorted the Laird, 'the sand in yer sugar's been ower grit! I'm thinkin' I heard tell o' a sma' chuckie stane in Miss Brown's tea-cup. Folk are na juist hens, ye see, an' dinna find sic provender halesome.' Something like a snigger followed the Laird's sally. No one else present being a 'merchant' of eatables, the joke was greatly relished. It is always pleasant to see a neighbour suffer, because it gives point and relish to one's own immunity. It is a form of childish sensuality that survives the relish for lollipops, but it is perhaps most openly indulged in during the lollipop period. Whispering and restlessness become hushed all over the school-room when a whipping is going forward. Each child settles in its seat to watch the performance, all eyes and interest; the sharper the whish of the cane and the louder the wail of the victim, the more pleasurable and keen the interest of each spectator, for the better he realizes the ease and comfort of his own little skin. Peter flushed. The laird was a privileged man, who might take his joke as he pleased, but no prescriptive immunity sheltered the rest. 'I see naething to nicker at, Ebenezer Prittie! Gin onything fell amang my sugar I ken naething about it ava, as I'll explain to Miss Brown; but I see na hoo yer ain ellwand can be an inch shorter nor ither folks, an' ye no ken o't.' 'I daur ye to say that again, ye ill-faured leein' rascal! Gin it war na for my godly walk and conversation, as a Christian man an' an Elder, I'd lay the ellwand about yer crappet lugs!' Here there was a general intervention between the two angry men, and the laird expressed his regret at having used any expression that could disturb the harmony of the meeting, but they knew his weakness for a joke; and as everything seemed to have been said on the subject they had met to consider, and as it was getting late, he would now wish them all good-night.