If your fair Eyes, upon the breaking up of this, meet with somewhat too
quick a Surprize, make thence, I beseech you, some reflection upon the
Condition I must needs have been in, at the suddain Appearance of that
Sun of Beauty, which at once shone so full upon my soul. I could not
immediately disengage my self from that Maze of Charms, to let you know
how unworthy a Captive your Eyes had made through mistake. Sure, Madam,
you cannot but remember my Disorder, of which your Innocent (Innocent,
though perhaps to me Fatal) Error made a Charitable (but wide)
Construction. Your Tongue pursued the Victory of your Eyes, and you did
not give me time to rally my poor Disordered Senses, so as to make a
tolerable Retreat. Pardon, Madam, the Continuation of the Deceipt, and
call it not so, that I appear’d to be other than my self; for Heaven
knows I was not then my self, nor am I now my own. You told me
something that concern’d me nearly, as to a Marriage my Father design’d
me, and much more nearly in being told by you. For Heaven’s sake,
disclose not to any Body your Knowledge of me, that I may not be forced
to an immediate Act of Disobedience; for if my future Services and
inviolate Love, cannot recommend me to your Favour, I shall find more
comfort in the cold Embraces of a Grave, than in the Arms of the never
so much admired (but by me dreaded) Juliana. Think, Madam, of those
severe Circumstances I lie under; and withal I beg you, think it is in
your Power, and only in your Power, to make them happy as my Wishes, or
much more miserable than I am able to imagine. That dear, inestimable
(though undesign’d) Favour which I receiv’d from you, shall this Day
distinguish me from the Crowd of your Admirers; that which I really
applied to my inward bleeding Wound, the welcom Wound which you have
made, and which, unless from you, does wish no Cure; then pardon and
have pity on, O Adored Leonora, him, who is your’s by Creation as he is
Heaven’s, though never so unworthy. Have pity on
Your
Aurelian.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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