Innocent : $b a tale of modern lifeOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
Innocent : $b a tale of modern life
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
real or supposed, were in harmony with his looks, and with the
impression he made upon most people who met him. A Charles the First
sort of man--wrong-headed, melancholy, virtuous, meaning the very best
but not always able to carry out his meaning, and now and then betrayed
into subterfuge by very indecision. This was the manner in which he was
regarded by his friends.
I am afraid this was not, however, at all the real state of affairs. It
is difficult to describe the true condition of his mind without using
what the newspapers call vulgar expressions, and without venturing upon
ground little known to or studied by the writer of this history. I do
not know after what fashion the artisan enjoys himself when, after a
long spell of respectability, his wife informs me, weeping or indignant,
that he has gone off “on the spree;” and still less do I know what
experiences are gone through by a young gentleman of quality when,
obeying the same impulse, he also breaks loose from decorum and plunges
into occasional dissipation. There are other pens in plenty which can
inform the curious reader; but for my part, though I may guess, I do not
know. Frederick Eastwood, however, though he was rather a fine gentleman
than otherwise, was as much subject to this influence as any
undisciplined working man with good wages and rampant senses. This was
the secret, the mystery, and, by consequence, the centre of his life.
His training, his wishes, his pride, all the traditions of his own and
his family’s history, bound him to the only career which is not ruin for
men in his condition--a life in accordance with the ordinary rules of
virtue and respectability. He had not any of the great qualities which
make society pardon an occasional aberration; nor was he rich enough to
be vicious decorously, even had that been possible. Besides, he did not
want to be permanently vicious, nor, indeed, to sin at all if he could
have helped it. He felt the importance of character as highly as any man
could feel it, and clung to his good repute with a tenacity all the more
desperate that he alone was aware how much he now and then put it in
peril. But that other impulse was as a fire within him--that impulse to
burst away from all routine and self-control--to throw every restraint
to the winds, and follow for a brief delirious interval only the wild
suggestions of the senses, wherever they might lead him. Where they did
lead him I have no intention of following. But this was the key to the
somewhat strange and incomprehensible aspect which he presented to his
fellows. He never got into mischief sociably with his contemporaries.
They thought him on the whole rather a Puritan; though there were
inevitable echoes of something against him wandering vaguely about his
club and among the men who had been with him at the University. But all
that was known and seen of his life was so spotless and respectable that
the whisper of hostility was hushed. The question why a young man so
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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