Innocent : $b a tale of modern lifeOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
Innocent : $b a tale of modern life
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
blameless should be often so moody, and always so uncommunicative, had
been solved in the feminine world in the most romantic manner, by the
theory that he was like Charles the First. But men did not take up this
notion so readily. There were various strange “ways” about him which
were very mysterious to his friends: a certain secrecy, in itself
carefully concealed, and watchfulness, as of a man about whom something
might some day be found out. When his fever fit was coming on, he would
grow restless, shifty, anxious, declining his ordinary engagements,
shutting himself up in his own room, morose with his family, and
impatient of all usual intercourse. A headache, or a cold, or some other
slight ailment, was the reason easily accepted by the innocent people
about him--and at the very nick of time some invitation would arrive for
a week’s shooting, or other agreeable occupation, which would “set him
up,” everybody thought. Whether he was resisting the devil at these
preliminary moments, or merely concocting plans by which he might get
free and secure the opportunity of self-indulgence, I cannot tell. I
believe, strange as it may seem to say it, that he was doing both.
But the devil got the best of the argument, as he generally does when
what are called “the passions” are excited, and the craving for
enjoyment, to which some natures are so susceptible, sets in. This
curious byeway of the human mind is one which a great many of us have
been forced to study much against our will: when all the desires of the
mind seem set upon the better way, and sore repentance, religious
feeling, and rational conviction of the fatal character of the
indulgence, seem certainly to promise victory, but are all upset at the
critical moment by that irresistible sense of the pleasure within reach,
which overcomes at once all spiritual and all prudential considerations.
Frederick Eastwood reasoned with himself, condemned himself, understood
the whole situation; he even prayed, with tears, against the besetting
sin, about the character of which he could have no doubt. But all the
time that hankering after the delight of it lay in the background; with
a corner of his mental eye, so to speak, he saw how best to attain the
gratification, and with a rush snatched it. Recollections of the
sweetness of it last time would flash across his mind, even at the very
height of his resolution to avoid it next time. He knew all that could
be said about those apples of Sodom, which are so beautiful to look at,
but are as ashes in the mouth. This is one of the set things which
preachers and sinners are alike ready to say together; but the fact is
that a great many people like the taste of the ashes, as Frederick did.
The pleasure of anticipating that mouthful had more force upon him than
all the arguments which, with hot zeal, he had so often used to
himself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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