"Then you must take the consequences," he said. "The farm and all I
have is left to Robin,--he's my dead sister's son and my nearest living
kin--"
"I know that," she said, simply, "and I'm glad he has everything. It's
right that it should be so. I shall not be in his way. You may be quite
sure of that. But I shall not marry him."
"You'll not marry him?" he repeated, and seemed about to give vent to a
torrent of invective when she extended her hands clasped together
appealingly.
"Dad, don't be angry!--it only hurts you and it does no good! Just
before supper you reminded me of what they say in Church that 'the sins
of the fathers should be visited on the children, even unto the third
and fourth generation.' I will not visit the sin of my father and
mother on anyone. If you will give me a little time I shall be able to
understand everything more clearly, and perhaps bear it better. I want
to be quite by myself. I must try to see myself as I am,--unbaptised,
nameless, forsaken! And if there is anything to be done with this
wretched little self of mine, it is I that must do it. With God's
help!" She sighed, and her lips moved softly again in the last words,
"With God's help!"
He said nothing, and she waited a moment as if expecting him to speak.
Then she moved to the table where she had been sitting and folded up
her needlework.
"Shall I get you some wine, Dad?" she asked presently in a quiet voice.
"No!" he replied, curtly--"Priscilla can get it."
"Then good-night!"
Still standing erect he turned his head and looked at her.
"Are you going?" he said. "Without your usual kiss?--your usual
tenderness? Why should you change to me? Your own father--if he was
your father--deserted you,--and I have been, a father to you in his
place, wronging my own honourable name for your sake; am I to blame for
this? Be reasonable! The laws of man are one thing and the laws of God
are another,--and we have to make the best we can of ourselves between
the two. There's many a piece of wicked injustice in the world, but
nothing more wicked than to set shame or blame on a child that's born
without permit of law or blessing of priest. For it's not the child's
fault,--it's brought into the world without its own consent,--and yet
the world fastens a slur upon it! That's downright brutal and
senseless!--for if there is any blame attached to the matter it should
be fastened on the parents, and not on the child. And that's what I
thought when you were left on my hands--I took the blame of you on
myself, and I was careful that you should be treated with every
kindness and respect--mind you that! Respect! There's not a man on the
place that doesn't doff his cap to you; and you've been as my own
daughter always. You can't deny it! And more than that"--here his
strong voice faltered--"I've loved you!--yes-I've loved you, little
Innocent--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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