which she had felt she must speak to someone,--exchange thoughts with
someone,--or suffer an almost intolerable restraint. That "someone" was
for her the long dead knight who had come to England in the train of
the Duc d'Anjou. To him she spoke,--to him she told all her
troubles--but to no one else did she ever breathe her thoughts, or
disclose a line of what she had written. She had often wondered
whether, if she sent these struggling literary efforts to a magazine or
newspaper, they would be accepted and printed. But she never made the
trial, for the reason that such newspaper literature as found its way
into Briar Farm filled her with amazement, repulsion and disgust. There
was nothing in any modern magazine that at all resembled the delicate,
pointed and picturesque phraseology of the Sieur Amadis! Strange,
coarse slang-words were used,--and the news of the day was slung
together in loose ungrammatical sentences and chopped-up paragraphs of
clumsy construction, lacking all pith and eloquence. So, repelled by
the horror of twentieth-century "style," she had hidden her manuscripts
deeper than ever in the old bureau, under little silk sachets of dried
rose-leaves and lavender, as though they were love-letters or old lace.
And when sometimes she shut herself up and read them over she felt like
one of Hamlet's "guilty creatures sitting at a play." Her literary
attempts seemed to reproach her for their inadequacy, and when she made
some fresh addition to her store of written thoughts, her crimes seemed
to herself doubled and weighted. She would often sit musing, with a
little frown puckering her brow, wondering why she should be moved to
write at all, yet wholly unable to resist the impulse.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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