Introducing Irony: A Book of Poetic Short Stories and PoemsBodenheim, Maxwell
General
Introducing Irony: A Book of Poetic Short Stories and Poems
Bodenheim, Maxwell
American fiction -- 20th century; American poetry -- 20th century; Short stories, American
“I have lost my friendship with gutters,” mused Geroid, looking down as
he walked. “They quarrel with bits of orange peel and pins. Patiently
they wait for the red rain that men give them every two hundred years.
Brown and red always sweep toward each other. Men are often unknowingly
killed by these two huge colours treading the insects upon a path and
walking to an ultimate trysting-place.”
The little girl whose face was like a molasses crescent cut off one of
her yellow curls and hung it from her closed mouth.
“Why are you acting in this way?” asked Geroid.
“It’s something I’ve never done before,” she answered placidly.
Geroid stroked his raspberry beard with menacing longing but could not
quite induce himself to pull it off. It would have been like cutting
the throat of his mistress.
They passed an insincerely littered courtyard, tame beneath its gray
tatters, and saw a black cat chasing a yellow cat.
“A cat never eats a cat--goldfish and dead lions are more to his
taste,” said Geroid. “Indulgently he flees from other cats or pursues
them in turn.”
“I see that you dislike melodrama,” observed a bulbous woman in
penitent lavender, who was beating a carpet in the courtyard.
“You’re mistaken. Melodrama is a weirdly drunken plausibility and can
not sincerely be disliked,” said Geroid. “But I must not leave without
complimenting your lavender wrapper. Few people have mastered the art
of being profoundly ridiculous.”
“I can see that you’re trying to be ridiculously profound,” said the
woman as she threw a bucket of stale water at Geroid. He fled down the
street, dragging the child with him. They left the cumbersome sterility
of the city behind them and passed into the suburbs.
“Here we have a tragedy in shades of naked inertness,” said Geroid to
the little girl.
“I don’t quite understand you,” answered the little girl. “I see
nothing but scowls and brownness.”
A tree stood out like the black veins on an unseen fist. A square
house raised its toothless snarl and all the other houses were jealous
imitators. Wooden fences crossed each other with dejected, mathematical
precision. A rat underneath a veranda scuffled with an empty candy box.
The green of dried grasses spread out like poisonous impotence.
“Here is the house where my mother lies dead,” said the little girl.
Her father--peace germinating into greasy overalls--came down the
steps. His blue eyes were parodies on the sky--discs of sinisterly
humourous blue; his face reminded one of a pear that had been stepped
on--resiliently flattened.
“I have come to measure your wife for her coffin,” said Geroid Latour.
“You’ll find her at the bottom of the well in the back-yard,” answered
the man.
“Trying to cheat a poor old undertaker out of his business!” said
Latour, waggishly.
“No, I’ll leave that to death,” said the man. “Come inside and warm
your candour.”
“No, thank you, shrieks travel faster through the open air,” said
Geroid, squinting at the man’s sportively cerulean eyes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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