London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Upper class -- Fiction
There was truth in what he said, and he would not have exchanged his
state for one more active, even though it had been an activity that
promised happiness. For in happiness he had no faith. It did exist on
earth--in the form of sleep; all other bliss he held to be illusion.
Heights to which he had once looked up with envious eyes, he did not
now contemplate; if a glimpse of them arrested him, he hurriedly turned
away, pained by a sudden sense of unrest. The thought of exertion was
intolerable. His reading was no longer study, but mere pastime in idle
pages; books which demanded thought or suggested a high and energetic
ideal, he put aside. This habit of mind, at first involuntary, he was
beginning to take consciously for his direction; it preserved to him an
even calm, which was now the most desirable of things.
“Do not tell me of your work,” he wrote to Gabriel in London. “It will
seem unfriendly that I should not wish to Hear of it, but your progress
and achievements I take for granted; they are the essence of the
distinction between your world and my own. When you say you have done
this, and are planning that, it disturbs me, I know not how; I neither
act nor plan, and hope never again to do either. Formerly, when I should
gladly have heard these details, you kept them from me; pray do so
now. The change in yourself which this new habit implies, I believe I
understand. There is a joyful tone in all you write, formerly never
to be found. You are less severe, more human. Naturally so; success is
before you, and the anxious toil of your years of poverty is at an end.
I, too, have ceased to fear poverty--thanks to you--but I dread the
more anything that can give a shock to my placid materialism. I dread
awakenings of sympathy, I dread discontent, I dread the ideal.”
Whereto Clement Gabriel took occasion to reply:
“My friend, you are in a bad way. Fortunately you are young; there is
hope for you in the years that bring the philosophic mind. Allow me to
suggest that your present mind contains as little of the philosophic as
it well could. I will not for the present trouble you about my doings.
We will talk over them when you have recovered your interest in the
things which alone are worth living for.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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