London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Upper class -- Fiction
“Vincent, have pity on me! You can’t, you won’t, do this! I will kneel
at your feet till you promise me to break it off. I can’t bear it!
Vincent, I can’t bear it! It will drive me mad if you are married. I
can’t live; I shall kill myself! You don’t know what my life has been
since we ceased to meet; I couldn’t have lived if I hadn’t had a sort
of hope that--oh, I know it’s all my own fault; I said and did things
I never should have done; you are blameless. But you _cannot_ marry
another woman when you--I mean, not at once, not so soon! It isn’t three
months, not three months, since you said you liked me better than any
one else you had ever met. Can’t you be sorry for me a little? Look at
me--I haven’t even the pride a woman ought to have; I am on my knees to
you. Put it off a little while; let me see if I can get to bear it!”
She had caught and held the hand with which he had endeavoured to
raise her. The man was in desperate straits; his face was a picture of
passionate torment, the veins at his temple blue and swollen, his lips
dry and quivering. With an effort of all his strength he raised
her bodily, and almost flung her upon the sofa, where she lay with
half-closed eyes, pallid, semi-conscious.
“Lie there till you are quiet,” he said with a brutality which was the
result of his inner struggle, and not at all an utterance of his real
self, “and then go home. I am going out.”
He went into an inner room, and reappeared in a moment equipped for
walking. Rhoda had risen, and was before him at the door, standing with
her face turned from him.
“Wait till I have been gone a minute,” she said. “Forgive me; I will
never come again.”
“Where are you going?” he inquired abruptly.
“Home.”
A sudden, violent double-knock at the door made them both start.
“It’s only the postman,” Lacour explained. The interruption had been of
good effect, relieving the overcharged atmosphere.
“Listen to me for one moment before you go,” he continued. “You must see
perfectly well that you ask what is impossible. Mistake or not, right or
wrong, I cannot undo what I have done; we must consider other people
as well as ourselves. For all that, we are not going to part in an
unfriendly way. I am sensitive; I could not be at my ease; I think you
owe it to me to restore our relations to their former reasonable state.”
“I will try,” came from the girl in a whisper.
“But I must have your promise. You will go home to your father and
sister, and will live as you have been doing.”
“Do you know how that has been?” she murmured.
“In future it must be different,” he urged vehemently. “Cannot you see
that by being unhappy you reproach me?”
“I do not reproach you, but I cannot help my unhappiness.”
“But you _must_ help it,” he cried half-angrily. “I will not have that
laid to my account. You must overcome all such weakness. The feeling you
profess for me is unreal if you are not capable of so small an effort on
my behalf. Surely you see that?”
“I will try.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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