Adultery -- Fiction; Artists -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction; Painters -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
“You have already reached the goal. You are everything that is good and
refined, proud and lovely. I say it, and one day a younger, better, and
stronger man will say the same—and you will be happy to listen. Are you
not a little pleased to hear me say that you are the best and sweetest
and most wonderful little girl in the world?—look at me, Jenny. Can I not
give you a little pleasure by saying that I believe you will have all
possible happiness because you deserve it?”
She looked down into his face, trying to smile; then, bending her head,
she passed her hands over his hair:
“Oh, Gert, I could not help it—could I? I did not want to do you any
harm.”
“Do not grieve about it, little one! I love you because you are what you
want to be—what I once hoped to be. You must not be sad for my sake,
even if you think you have caused me pain; there are sorrows that are
good, full of blessing, I assure you.”
She went on crying softly.
Presently he whispered:
“May I come and see you now and again? Will you not send for me when you
are sad? I should so like to try and be of some help to my dear little
girl.”
“I dare not, Gert.”
“Dear child, I am an old man; remember, I might be your father.”
“For—for your sake, I mean. It is not right.”
“Oh yes, Jenny. Do you believe that I think less about you when I don’t
see you? I ask only to see you, talk to you, to try and do something for
you. Won’t you let me? Do let me come.”
“I don’t know—I don’t know what to say, but please go now. I cannot bear
any more today—it is all so terrible. Won’t you go, dear?”
He rose slowly:
“I will. Good-bye! Jenny, dear child, you are quite beside yourself.”
“Yes”—in a whisper.
“I will go now, but I want to see you before you go away. I shall come
back when you are yourself again and not frightened of me; there is no
reason for that, dear.”
She was quiet for a little, then suddenly drew him close to her for a
second, brushing his cheek with her lips.
“Go now, Gert.”
“Thank you. God bless you, Jenny.”
* * * * *
When he was gone she paced up and down the floor, shivering without
knowing why. In her heart she felt a certain pleasure in remembering his
words when he was on his knees before her. She had always looked upon
Gert as a weak man, as one who had suffered himself to be dragged down
and been trodden upon as those who are down always will be. And now he
had suddenly revealed himself to her as possessing a great fortitude
of soul, and a being rich enough and willing to help, while she was
bewildered, distracted, and sick with longing in her inmost heart behind
the shield of opinions and thoughts which she had made for herself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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