'When I was young, my dear,' she said with innocent vanity, blushing
like a girl, 'I was thought not to be ugly.'
'Ugly, indeed!' I exclaimed, looking around defiantly. 'My mother
couldn't be ugly!'
'What do you call me now, Chris?'
'You are beautiful--beautiful!' with another defiant look. My mother
shook her hand in mild remonstrance. 'You are--you are! But you're
pale and thin, and you've got lines here--and here.' I smoothed them
with my hand. 'And, mother, you're not old!'
'I'm forty, Chris.'
'That is not old. Tell me--why did you alter so?'
'Time and trouble alter us, dear. We can't be always bright.'
I thought that I might be the trouble she referred to, and I asked the
question anxiously.
'You, my darling!' she said, drawing me to her side and petting me.
'You are my joy, my comfort! I live only for you, Chris--only for
you!'
I noticed something here, and, with a touch of that logical
argumentativeness for which I was afterwards not undistinguished, I
said:
'If I am your joy and comfort, you ought to be glad.'
'And am I not glad? What does my little boy mean by his roundabouts?'
'You cried when you said I was your joy and comfort.'
'They were tears of pleasure, my dear--tears that sprang from my love
for my boy. Then perhaps they sprang from the thought--for we will be
truthful always, Chris--that I should like to buy my boy a new pair of
boots and some new clothes, and that I couldn't because I hadn't money
enough.'
'You would buy them for me if you had money?'
'Ah! what would I not buy for my darling if I had money!'
How delicious it was to nestle in her arms as she poured out the love
of her heart for me! How I worshipped her, and kissed her, and patted
her cheek, and smoothed her hair.
'You are like a lover, my dear,' she said.
'I am your lover,' I replied, and murmured softly to myself, 'Wait
till I am a man! wait till I am a man!'
That night I coaxed my mother to talk to me of the time when she was
young, and she did, with many a smile and many a blush; and in our one
little room there was much delight. She picked out the daisies of her
life, and laid them before me to gladden my heart. Simple and
beautiful were they as Nature's own sweet flower. She showed me a
picture of herself as a girl, and I saw its likeness to the picture
I had admired in the shop window. She sang me to sleep with her dear
old songs, full of sweetness and simplicity. How different are our
modern songs from those sweet old airs! The charm of simplicity is
wanting--but, indeed, it is wanting in other modern things as well.
The spirit of simplicity dwells not in crowded places.
Then commenced my first conscious worship of woman. I held her in my
heart as a devotee holds a saint. How good was this world which
contained such goodness! How sweet this life which contained such
sweetness! She was the flower of both. Modesty, simplicity, and truth,
were with her invariably. To me she became the incarnation of purity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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