"Oh I sent him packing the first of all," replied the woman, with a
sharp laugh. She began to adjust the tray, and to set out the things as
temptingly as possible; eager as she was to know what had happened, her
woman's tact taught her that it was something about which he would not
speak then. There was a strange awkward tenderness about her voice and
her movements as she waited upon him; the faded old eyes had a light in
them that had never shone for anyone but him. "Eat it, dearie; it'll do
you good," she whispered.
Nor would she leave him until a little later, utterly worn out, he
toiled upstairs to his room. And even then, in the security of her own
room, she listened for a long time, with her ear against the door, while
the man paced up and down--up and down--in his own room near at hand.
But at last even that sound ceased, and Old Paul was apparently at rest.
The night must have soothed him in some fashion; he woke calm and
refreshed. True, some of his gaiety was gone; he had a way of suddenly
relapsing into silence for no given reason, and then waking himself from
those silences with a start and a forced laugh. And a week after that
visit to London he suddenly went again; and this time was absent for the
whole of that day and the night, and the whole of the next day.
As he alighted at the little station of Daisley Cross, and took his way
down towards the house, with the darkening fields and woods on either
side of him, he moved like a man who has come into a strange world; for
now he viewed this world with other eyes than those with which he had
looked upon it before. As he walked, he strove to remember what he had
to face, and what had been said to him that day. It was difficult to
remember, because it was jumbled in his mind with something that had to
be done, and done quickly. For there was so little time--dear
God!--there was such a little time left!
That was the burden of the merciless song that had been ringing in his
ears all day--a song the faint coming sound of which had been suggested
to him a week before. He had only heard the thing faintly then--a mere
whisper of it; now it was ringing in his ears, and beating on his very
brain. As he walked, tears, not wholly of self-pity, flooded into his
eyes; he had not deserved this--had not expected it. It wasn't fair nor
just; other men who had lived wilder lives than himself would go on
living wilder lives yet, until they grew to be old, with a long life to
look back upon; and his was to close in so short a time; he was still
young--and yet young enough to die. It wasn't fair--there must be some
way----
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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