East Anglia (England) -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
“You are very religious, Miss Levinger, are you not?” he said.
“Religious? What made you think so? No; I wish I were. I have certain
beliefs, and I try to be—that is all.”
“It was watching your face in church that gave me the idea, or rather
assured me of the fact,” he answered.
She coloured, and then said: “Why do you ask? You believe in our
religion, do you not?”
“Yes, I believe in it. I think that you will find few men of my
profession who do not—perhaps because their continual contact with the
forces and dangers of nature brings about dependence upon an unseen protecting
Power. Also my experience is that religion in one form or another is necessary
to all human beings. I never knew a man to be quite happy who was devoid of it
in some shape.”
“Religion does not always bring happiness, or even peace,” said
Emma. “My experience is very small—indeed, I have none outside
books and the village—but I have seen it in the case of my own father. I
do not suppose it possible that a man could be more religious than he has been
ever since I can remember much about him; but certainly he is not happy, nor
can he reconcile himself to the idea of death, which to me, except for its
physical side, does not seem such a terrible matter.”
“I should say that your father is a very nervous man,” Henry
answered; “and the conditions of your life and of his may have been quite
different. Everybody feels these things according to his temperament.”
“Yes, he is nervous,” she said; then added suddenly, as though she
wished to change the subject, “Look! there is the sea. How beautiful it
is! Were you not sorry to leave it, Captain Graves?”
By now they had turned off the main road, and, following a lane which was used
to cart sand and shingle from the beach, had reached a chalky slope known as
the Cliff. Below them was a stretch of sand, across which raced the in-coming
tide, and beyond lay the great ocean, blue in the far distance, but marked
towards the shore with parallel lines of white-crested billows.
Hitherto the afternoon had been dull, but as Emma spoke the sunlight broke
through the clouds, cutting a path of glory athwart the sea.
“Sorry to leave it!” he said, staring at the familiar face of the
waters, and speaking almost passionately: “it has pretty well broken my
heart—that is all. I loved my profession, it was everything to me: there
I was somebody, and had a prospect before me; now I am nobody, and have none,
except——” And he stopped.
“And why did you leave?” she asked.
“For the same reason that we all do disagreeable things: because it was
my duty. My brother died, and my family desired my presence, so I was obliged
to retire from the Service, and there is an end of it.”
“I guessed as much,” said Emma softly, “and I am very sorry
for you. Well, we cannot go any farther, so we had better turn.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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