Edna placed a tender hand over the scalded, listless one that rested on
the oilcloth. Joan, abandoning her determination to air her personal
grievances at the first available instant, said suddenly:
"Never mind, ma. It ain't like he was a drinking man."
The vacant eyes in the faded face of the mother were fathoming distances
remote from the four walls of the slatternly room. Her thin and
colourless lips trembled slightly; little more than a whisper escaped
them:
"Sometimes I wish he was--wish he had been. It'd 've been easier to
stand--all this." A faltering gesture indicated vaguely the misery of
their environment.
Edna continued to pet the unresponsive hand.
"Don't, mother!" she pleaded.
The woman stirred, withdrew her hand, and slowly got up.
"Come on, Edna. Le's get done with them dishes."
With eyes hard and calculating, Joan watched the two drift into the
kitchen. Their wretched state touched her less than the fact that she
must continue forever to share it, or else try to better it in open
defiance of her father's prejudices.
"Something's got to be done for this family," she grumbled--"and I don't
see anybody even thinking of doing anything but me!"
She rose and strode angrily back to the cubicle she shared with Edna. In
a fit of unreasoning rage, snatching her hat from its hook, she impaled
it upon her hair with hatpins that stabbed viciously. It had grown too
dark to see more than a vague white shape moving on the surface of the
mirror. But she did not stop to light the gas to make sure she was
armoured against the public eye. In another moment, bag in hand, coat
over her arm, she was letting herself out into the hallway.
Time enough tomorrow morning to fret her mother and sister with news of
her misfortune: tonight she was in the humour to make a bold move toward
freedom....
But on the door-stoop she checked, a trifle dashed by apprehension of
the impending storm, which she had quite forgotten. She drew back into
the vestibule: she could hardly afford to subject her only decent waist
and skirt to danger of a drenching.
An atmosphere if anything more dense than that of the day blanketed
heavily the city. Even the gutter-children seemed to feel its influence,
and instead of making the evening hideous with screams and rioting,
moved with an uncommon lethargy, or stood or squatted apart in little
groups, their voices hushed and querulous. The roar of the trains on the
nearby Elevated seemed muted, the clangour of the Third Avenue surface
cars blunted, and Joan fancied that the street lamps burned with an
added lustre. Wayfarers moved slowly if near home, otherwise briskly,
with a spirit as unwilling as unwonted: one and all with frequent
glances skyward.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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