She watched him as he leaned back in his seat, singing--
"Take me back to Pompeii--
To Pompey-ompey-i--"
In the dim red light of the place, he looked incredibly young. She could
see only his profile--the backward sweep of glistening, pomaded hair,
the little short straight nose, the sensual, fretful lips--and as she
watched him she was smitten with a queer sense of pity. This was no
strong man, no lover and husband--just a little clerk she was going to
shut up in prison--a little singing clerk. She felt a brute--she put
out her hand and slid it under his arm, against his warm side.
"To Pompey-ompey-i"
sang Bert.
Sec.30
The curtain came down and the lights went up for the interval. A brass
band played very loud. Joanna was beginning to have a bit of a headache,
but she said nothing--she did not want him to leave on her account--or
to find that he did not think of leaving.... She felt very hot, and
fanned herself with her programme. Most of the audience were hot.
"Joanna," said Bert, "don't you ever use powder?"
"Powder? What d'you mean?"
"Face-powder--what most girls use. Your skin wouldn't get red and shiny
like that if you had some powder on it."
"I'd never dream of using such a thing. I'd be ashamed."
"Why be ashamed of looking decent?"
"I wouldn't look decent--I'd look like a hussy. Sometimes when I see
these gals' faces I--"
"Really, Jo, to hear you speak one ud think you were the only virtuous
woman left in England. But there are just one or two things in your
career, my child, which don't quite bear out that notion."
Joanna's heart gave a sudden bound, then seemed to freeze.
She leaned forward in her chair, staring at the advertisements on the
curtain. Bertie put his arm round her--"I say, ole girl, you ain't angry
with me, are you?" She made no reply--she could not speak; too much was
happening in her thoughts--had happened, rather, for her mind was now
quite made up. A vast, half-conscious process seemed suddenly to have
settled itself, leaving her quite clear-headed and calm.
"You ain't angry with me, are you?" repeated Bert.
"No," said Joanna--"I'm not angry with you."
He had been cruel and selfish when she was in trouble, he had shown no
tenderness for her physical fatigue, and now at last he had taunted her
with the loss of her respectability for his sake. But she was not angry
with him.... It was only that now she knew she could never, never marry
him.
Sec.31
That night she slept heavily--the deep sleep of physical exhaustion and
mental decision. The unconscious striving of her soul no longer woke her
to ask her hard questions. Her mind was made up, and her conflict was at
an end.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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