From my little collection of what is called in the scholastic profession "Howlers," I extract the following, with my apologies to their perpetrators. * * * * * _La fille de feu ma bonne et estimée cousine est toujours la bienvenue_, "My good and esteemed cousin, the daughter of fire, is always welcome." * * * * * _Mon frère a tort et ma soeur a raison_, "My brother has some tart and my sister has some raisins." * * * * * _Elle partit dans la matinée du lendemain_, "She took part in the morning performance of legerdemain." This is a specimen of German _geist_ perpetrated by a candidate to our scholarships, and a young subject of his Venerable Majesty Emperor William. Honor to whom honor is due. * * * * * When I said that boys do not look at the notes given at the end of their text-books, it was nothing short of a libel, as two cases following will prove. * * * * * _Diable! c'est qu'il est capricieux, le bonhomme!_ A boy looked at a note on this phrase, and found: "_capricieux_, akin to Latin _capra_ (a goat)." Next day, he brought his translation, which ran thus: "The good man is devilishly like a goat." * * * * * The next two "howlers" were indulged in by my boys, as we were reading Jules Sandeau's _Mademoiselle de la Seiglière_. The Baroness de Vaubert says to the Marquis de la Seiglière: "_Calmez-vous_." A boy having translated this by "Calm yourself," I observed to him: "Couldn't you give me something more colloquial?" Boy, after a moment's reflection: "Keep your hair on, old man." * * * * * _Je laisse Renaud dans les jardins d'Armida_, "I leave this fox in the gardens of Armida," and, between brackets, the following explanatory statement: ("Jerusalem delivered Tasso in the hands of an enchantress named Armida.")[7] [7] I reproduce the note which had "helped" the boy: ["_Renaud dans les jardins d'Armida_," _the enchanted gardens of Armida_ ("_Jerusalem Delivered_," _Tasso_), _figuratively, in the hands of an enchantress._] * * * * * _Chaque âge a ses plaisirs_ was translated by a nice little boy, "Every one grows old for his preserves." (Evidently written after a surfeit of jam.) * * * * *