The vagaries of my young friends are thrown into the shade by some achievements of professional translators which I have come across in America. A French master may occasionally enjoy the drolleries that a magnificent disdain for dictionary trammels and a violent yearning towards the playground will betray his pupil into; but I imagine that a publisher, who pays in hard cash for the faithful translation of a French book, can scarcely be pleased to find that the work has been interlarded with mirth-provoking blunders thrown in gratis. I extract the two following examples of "French as she is traduced" from the translation of one of my books that the American pirates did me the honor to publish: _Les exploits d'Hercule sont de la Saint Jean auprès de_..., "The exploits of Hercules are but of the St. John order compared to...." _Monsieur, ne vous retournez pas_, "Sir, do not return yourself." * * * * * But to return to John Bull, junior. I pass young worthies who translate "_I have never read any thing by Molière_" by "_Je n'ai pas jamais lit quelque chose par Molière_," on the ground that "it is so in English." This "French" sentence was, by-the-bye, the first essay on Molière I received at the hands of the English boys. Some little fellows, trusting their sense of sight, have the objectionable habit of writing the translation of a text before looking at it, at all events before seeing it. Result: "_Il raccommodait les vieux souliers_"--"_He recommended the old soldiers._" A clever boy, whilst reading a comedy at first sight, translated "EGLANTINE (_baissant les yeux_)" by "EGLANTINE (_kissing his eyes_)." You naughty boy! * * * * * I once read the following sound advice given in the preface of a French Translation book: "HINTS ON TRANSLATING UNSEEN PASSAGES." "1. Read the passage carefully through, at least twice." "2. Keep as closely as possible to the original in sense, but use English idiom boldly." "3. Never write down nonsense." Now, and whilst I think of it, why _unseen_? It may be that I do not perceive the niceties of the English language, but this commonly used word, "unseen," never conveyed any meaning to my mind. Would not "unforeseen" be a better word? I would timidly suggest. If the book in question succeeded in making boys carry out the foregoing suggestions, it would be worth its weight in gold. As far as my experience goes, the only hint which I have known them follow is the one that tells them to use English idiom boldly. A drawback to these hints is that they are given in the preface. Now, dear colleagues and _confrères_, which of you has ever known a school-boy read the preface of his book? VII.