PEREGRINE _Mr. Cooke._ SIR SIMON ROCHDALE] _Mr. Blanchard._ FRANK ROCHDALE _Mr. H. Johnston._ WILLIAMS _Mr. Klanert._ LORD FITZ-BALAAM _Mr. Waddy._ HON. TOM SHUFFLETON _Mr. Lewis_ JOB THORNBERRY _Mr. Fawcett._ JOHN BUR _Mr. Atkins._ DENNIS BRULGRUDDERY _Mr. Johnstone._ DAN _Mr. Emery._ MR. PENNYMAN _Mr. Davenport._ JOHN _Mr. Abbot._ ROBERT _Mr. Truman._ SIMON _Mr. Beverly._ LADY CAROLINE BRAYMORE _Mrs. H. Johnston._ MRS. BRULGRUDDERY _Mrs. Davenport._ MARY THORNBERRY _Mrs. Gibbs._ _SCENE,--Cornwall._ JOHN BULL. ACT THE FIRST. SCENE I. _A Public House on a Heath: over the Door the Sign of the Red Cow;----and the Name of "DENNIS BRULGRUDDERY."_ _Enter DENNIS BRULGRUDDERY and DAN, from the House. DAN opening the outward Shutters of the House._ _Dennis._ A pretty blustratious night we have had! and the sun peeps through the fog this morning, like the copper pot in my kitchen.--Devil a traveller do I see coming to the Red Cow. _Dan._ Na, measter!--nowt do pass by here, I do think, but the carrion crows. _Dennis._ Dan;--think you, will I be ruin'd? _Dan._ Ees; past all condemption. We be the undonestest family in all Cornwall. Your ale be as dead as my grandmother; mistress do set by the fire, and sputter like an apple a-roasting; the pigs ha' gotten the measles; I be grown thinner nor an old sixpence; and thee hast drank up all the spirity liquors. _Dennis._ By my soul, I believe my setting up the Red Cow, a week ago, was a bit of a Bull!--but that's no odds. Haven't I been married these three months?--and who did I marry? _Dan._ Why, a waddling woman, wi' a mulberry feace. _Dennis._ Have done with your blarney, Mr. Dan. Think of the high blood in her veins, you bog trotter. _Dan._ Ees; I always do, when I do look at her nose. _Dennis._ Never you mind Mrs. Brulgruddery's nose. Was'nt she fat widow to Mr. Skinnygauge, the lean exciseman of Lestweithel? and did'nt her uncle, who is fifteenth cousin to a Cornish Baronet, say he'd leave her no money, if he ever happen'd to have any, because she had disgraced her parentage, by marrying herself to a taxman? Bathershan, man, and don't you think he'll help us out of the mud, now her second husband is an Irish jontleman, bred and born? _Dan._ He, he! Thee be'st a rum gentleman. _Dennis._ Troth, and myself, Mr. Dennis Brulgruddery, was brought up to the church. _Dan._ Why, zure! _Dennis._ You may say that, I open'd the pew doors, in Belfast. _Dan._ And what made 'em to turn thee out o'the treade? _Dennis._ I snored in sermon time. Dr. Snufflebags, the preacher, said I woke the rest of the congregation. Arrah, Dan, don't I see a tall customer stretching out his arms in the fog? _Dan._ Na; that be the road-post.