A certain worthy divine from the north, who visits the general assembly of the kirk of Scotland every year, has for time immemorial taken up his annual abode in a certain tavern in Edinburgh. This healthy mountaineer has an instinctive horror at all deleterious mixtures in human food, whether solid or liquid; and the reason he assigned for frequenting the above tavern was, that he could always command the luxury of fresh eggs to breakfast. These he always boiled himself, and would take none except he found them hot from the nest. This year he appeared as usual, like the bittern at her appointed time; but, unfortunately, he laid his forepaw on a couple of plump eggs, but quite cold, and apparently not laid yesterday. The man of the church waxed wroth, and summoned the waiter. Betty assured him they were fresh, but could not explain why they were cold. The landlady was next taken to task, and threatened with the loss of a customer unless this suspicious phenomenon was satisfactorily cleared up. ‘’Deed, sir,’ replied the hostess, ‘I am unco sorry for’t; but to tell Gude’s truth, sir, I couldna get the cat to sit on them this morning.’ A SAILOR’S NOTION.--A Sailor, seeing some of our domestic slave-traders driving coloured men, women, and children on board a ship for New Orleans market, shook his head and said, ‘Jim, if the devil don’t catch them fellows, we might as well not have any devil.’ An American paper says--‘Travellers should be careful to intrust their baggage to proper persons only, as a gentleman a few days since, on alighting from a stage-coach, intrusted his wife to a stranger, and she has not been heard of since.’ MONTAIGNE retained during the whole of his life an elderly female in his service, who had been the nurse of his childhood, and to whom he was in the habit of reading his compositions, on the principle that if she could understand them everybody else must. On one occasion the philosopher, whilst sipping his morning dish of coffee, accosted her as follows:--‘Nurse, I have made a deep discovery this morning.’ ‘Indeed,’ replied the old lady; ‘what is that?’ ‘Why, nurse, you need not tell any one, but I have actually found out what no one else could suspect.’ ‘And what is that, Sir.’ ‘Why, that I am an old fool.’ ‘La! Sir! is that all?’ observed the good woman; ‘if you had but asked me I could have told you that 20 years ago--I have seen it all along.’