A. It is said, the dogs have three accusations against the chapman, which has been handed down from father to son, or from one generation of dogs to another: the first is as old as Æsop, the great wit of Babylon.--The dogs having a lawsuit against the cats, they gained the plea: one of the dogs coming trudging home with the Decreet below his tail, a wicked chapman threw his ell-wan at him, and he let the Decreet fall and so lost their great privileges thereby. The second is, because in old times the chapmen used to buy dogs and kill them for their skins. The third reason is, when a chapman was quartered at a farmer’s house, that night the Dog lost his right of licking the pot. Q. What creature resembles most a drunken Piper? A. A Cat when she sips milk, for then she always sings, and so does a piper when he drinks good ale. Q. What is the reason a dog runs twice round before he lies down? A. Because he does not know the head of his bed from the foot of it. Q. What creature resembles most a long lean, ill-looking greasy-faced lady, for pride? A. None so much as a cat, who is continually spitting in her lufe and rubing her face, as many such ladies do the brown leather of their wrinkled chafts. Q. Amongst what sort of creatures will you observe most of a natural law, or instinctive knowledge? A. The Hart and the Hind meet on one certain day in the year; the Brood Goose, lays her first egg on Eastern’s Even, old stile; the Crows begin to build their nest about the first of March old stile; the Swans, observe matrimony, and if a female die, the male dare not take up with another or the rest will put him to death; all the Birds in general join in pairs and keep so; but the Dove resembles the adulterer, when the hen grows old he puts her away and takes another; the Locusts observe military order, and march in bands; the Frogs resembles gipsies and pedlers, for the young ones ride the old ones to death. Q. Who are the merriest and heartiest people in the world? A. The Sailors, for they’ll be singing and cursing and daming one another when the waves (their graves,) are going over their heads. Q. Which are the disorderliest creatures in battle? A. Cows and dogs; for they all fall on them that are neathmost. Q. What are the vainest sort of people in the world? A. A Barber, a Tailor, a young Soldier, and a poor dominie. Q. What is the great cause of the barber’s vanity. A. Because he is admitted to trim Noblemen’s chafts, thake their sculls, take Kings by the nose, and hold a razor to their very throats, which no other subject dare presume to do. Q. What is the great cause of the Tailor’s pride? A. His making of peoples new clothes, of which every person, young and old is proud. Then who can walk in a vainer show than a tailor carrying home a gentleman’s new clothes? Q. What is the cause of a young soldier’s pride?