John Cheap, the Chapman's Library. Vol. 1: Comic and Humorous: The Scottish Chap Literature of Last Century, ClassifiedGraham, Dougal
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John Cheap, the Chapman's Library. Vol. 1: Comic and Humorous: The Scottish Chap Literature of Last Century, Classified
Graham, Dougal
Chapbooks, Scottish; English literature -- 18th century; Graham, Dougal, 1724-1779; Popular literature -- Scotland
He had scarcely laid down when the men approached.--They spoke a
few words sufficient for him to discover that one of the party was
the sexton himself. The barrow was wheeled off, and he heard the
gate locked immediately. As the wheelbarrow rattled over the rough
causeway, Tam’s stomach began to feel rather queer--he nevertheless
resolved to lie quiet until they should stop. After a short time,
however, he became aware that, if his jolting was not put an end
to, his stomach would be speedily emptied of the contents.--In
short, he found it almost impossible any longer to refrain from
vomiting. He had therefore no alternative but to raise himself
up in the vehicle; and accordingly, he suddenly started up, and
stretching out his arms with great violence soon disencumbered
the upper part of his body from the sack in which he had been
inveloped. The consternation of the body-lifters may be imagined.
The one who was wheeling the barrow suddenly let go his hold, by
which means it upset, and both taking to their heels, they ran as
if the evil one himself had been in chase of them. By the upsetting
of the barrow, Tam Merrilees was rolled upon the ground: however,
having managed to get entirely free from the sack; and regain his
legs, he found himself at the end of the Cross causeway, near St.
Leonard’s. He scratched his head, and taking a snuff, began to
consider how he was to dispose of the barrow. “It is no sic a bad
wheelbarrow,” said he; “I’ll just tak it hame wi’ me;” so throwing
into it the sack, he made the best of his way home, feeling a
good deal soberer for his adventure.--On his arrival at home he
deposited the barrow in a small yard at the back of the house; and
without facing his expectant spouse, he proceeded straightway to
the dwelling of Maister Peter Mitchell, an old acquaintance, and
moreover an elder of the kirk. On his road thither he indulged in
no very gentle denunciations against the sexton. “A fine fellow to
trust folks’ bodies wi’! I’se warrant all the corpses that’s been
buried thonder for the last twalvemonth hae gaen the same gate as
that yin wad if I had na’ prevented it. It’s an awfu’ thing that
folk canna get leave to rest in their graves now-a-daye for thae
doctors.” Tam’s reflections were interrupted by his arrival at the
elder’s house; the inmates were all gone to bed, with the exception
of the elder himself, who was doubtless rather surprised at so
late, or rather early, a visit from his friend Tam Merrilees. (It
was, now between one and two of the morning.) ‘Mr. Merrilees!’
exclaimed he, ‘what was brought you here at this time of the night?
Nothing serious, I hope.’ ‘Serious enough,’ muttered Tam. ‘I’m
just come, Maister Mitchell, ye see, about an unco queer kind o’ a
circumstance.’ Aye, Mr. Merrilees, what is it? Sit down and lets
hear it.’ ‘I’ll just speer at ye a sma’ question first,’ answered
Tam.--‘What kind o’ a body is that grave-digger o’ yours?’ ‘Is it
Willie Scrymgeour ye mean?’ asked the elder.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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