John Ingerfield, and Other StoriesJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
John Ingerfield, and Other Stories
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Short stories
He keeps the subject in his mind, and muses on it in the intervals of
business. At odd moments he jots down names as they occur to him upon a
slip of paper, which he pins for the purpose on the inside of the cover
of his desk. He arranges them alphabetically, and when it is as
complete as his memory can make it, he goes critically down the list,
making a few notes against each. As a result, it becomes clear to him
that he must seek among strangers for his wife.
He has a friend, or rather an acquaintance, an old school-fellow, who
has developed into one of those curious social flies that in all ages
are to be met with buzzing contentedly within the most exclusive
circles, and concerning whom, seeing that they are neither rare nor
rich, nor extraordinarily clever nor well born, one wonders “how the
devil they got there!” Meeting this man by chance one afternoon, he
links his arm in his and invites him home to dinner.
So soon as they are left alone, with the walnuts and wine between them,
John Ingerfield says, thoughtfully cracking a hard nut between his
fingers—
“Will, I’m going to get married.”
“Excellent idea—delighted to hear it, I’m sure,” replies Will, somewhat
less interested in the information than in the delicately flavoured
Madeira he is lovingly sipping. “Who’s the lady?”
“I don’t know, yet,” is John Ingerfield’s answer.
His friend glances slyly at him over his glass, not sure whether he is
expected to be amused or sympathetically helpful.
“I want you to find one for me.”
Will Cathcart puts down his glass and stares at his host across the
table.
“Should be delighted to help you, Jack,” he stammers, in an alarmed
tone—“’pon my soul I should; but really don’t know a damned woman I
could recommend—’pon my soul I don’t.”
“You must see a good many: I wish you’d look out for one that you
_could_ recommend.”
“Certainly I will, my dear Jack!” answers the other, in a relieved
voice. “Never thought about ’em in that way before. Daresay I shall
come across the very girl to suit you. I’ll keep my eyes open and let
you know.”
“I shall be obliged to you if you will,” replies John Ingerfield,
quietly; “and it’s your turn, I think, to oblige me, Will. I have
obliged you, if you recollect.”
“Shall never forget it, my dear Jack,” murmurs Will, a little uneasily.
“It was uncommonly good of you. You saved me from ruin, Jack: shall
think about it to my dying day—’pon my soul I shall.”
“No need to let it worry you for so long a period as that,” returns
John, with the faintest suspicion of a smile playing round his firm
mouth. “The bill falls due at the end of next month. You can discharge
the debt then, and the matter will be off your mind.”
Will finds his chair growing uncomfortable under him, while the Madeira
somehow loses its flavour. He gives a short, nervous laugh.
“By Jove,” he says: “so soon as that? The date had quite slipped my
memory.”
“Fortunate that I reminded you,” says John, the smile round his lips
deepening.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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