_Book Stall Keeper._ "BOOK, MA'AM? YES, MA'AM, HERE'S A POPULAR WORK BY AN EMINENT SURGEON, JUST PUBLISHED, 'BROKEN LEGS, AND HOW TO MEND THEM;' OR, WOULD YOU LIKE THE LAST NUMBER OF 'THE RAILWAY OPERATOR?'"] [Illustration: _A LEFT-HANDED COMPLIMENT._ _Bootmaker (with great feeling)._ "OH, NO, SIR! DON'T HAVE NAPOLEONS; HAVE TOPS, SIR!--YOURS IS A BEAUTIFUL LEG FOR A TOP BOOT, SIR!--(_young Nimrod is immensely pleased_)--BEAUTIFUL LEG, SIR! SAME SIZE ALL THE WAY DOWN, SIR!"--(_young Nimrod is immensely disgusted._)] [Illustration: _LITERAL._ _Young Lady._ "PRAY, CABMAN, ARE YOU ENGAGED?" _Cabman._ "LOR BLESS YER, MISS, WHY, I'VE BEEN MARRIED THIS SEVEN YEARS."] [Illustration: _HALL ALONG OF THEM BETTING OFFICES._ _Betting Flunkey._ "LOST? I BELIEVE YER! AND LOST A HATFULL OF MONEY ON THE HOAKS, TOO; AND HOW I'M TO SETTLE WITHOUT PARTING WITH MY JEWELLERY, I'M SURE I DON'T KNOW! AH, MR. BOTTLES, ITS HARD LINES TO WAIT AT TABLE WITH SUCH CARES AND HANXIETIES."] [Illustration: _A BRUTAL FELLOW._ _Policeman._ "NOW, MUM! WHAT'S THE MATTER?" _Injured Female._ "IF YOU PLEASE, MISTER--I WANT TO GIVE MY WRETCH OF A 'USBAND IN CHARGE. HE'S ALLVAYS A KNOCKING OF ME DOWN AND A STAMPIN' ON ME!"] [Illustration: _OF COURSE._ "IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, MASTER'S SENT BACK THE FIRST VOLUME, AND HE SAYS, WILL YOU BE SO GOOD AS TO LET HIM 'AVE THE SECOND?"] [Illustration: _ENTER MR. BOTTLES, THE BUTLER._ _Master Fred._ "THERE! THAT'S CAPITAL! STAND STILL, BOTTLES, AND I'LL SHOW YOU HOW THE CHINESE DO THE KNIFE TRICK AT THE PLAY." [BOTTLES _is much interested._] [Illustration: _THE NEW ACT._ _Hansom Cabby._ "H'M! SIXPENCE, YOU HAD BETTER KEEP IT. YOU MAY WANT IT FOR YOUR WASHING OR SOMETHINK!"] [Illustration: _DISCERNMENT._ _Clever Child._ "OH! DO LOOK HERE, MAMMA DEAR, SUCH A FUNNY THING! MR. BOKER'S GOT ANOTHER FOREHEAD AT THE BACK OF HIS HEAD." [BOKER _is delighted_.] [Illustration: _INNOCENT AND AMUSING LITTLE TRICK FOR LITTLE BOYS._ AN OLD LADY IS CROSSING THE STREET, WHEN A LITTLE BOY SHOUTS OUT--"HI!" AT THE TOP OF HIS VOICE. THE OLD LADY (ALTHOUGH INDEED THERE IS NO REAL CAUSE FOR ALARM) STARTS, AND BECOMES GREATLY AGITATED, AND IMAGINES THAT SHE IS RUN OVER BY AN OMNIBUS. THIS IS AN EXCEEDINGLY PLEASANT TRICK.] [Illustration: _SOLICITUDE._ _Child (screams and without any stops)._ "HANNER MARIA YER TIRESOME HAGGERWATIN' LITTLE USSY COME OUT OF THE ROAD DO WITH YER LITTLE BROTHER DID YER WANT TO BE RUNNED OVER BY OMNIBUSTES AND KILLED DEAD OH DEAR OH DEAR WHO'D BE A NUSS?"] [Illustration: _ANOTHER._ THIS IS EQUALLY DIVERTING. A LITTLE BOY RUSHES BY AN OLD GENTLEMAN AND "YOWLS" LIKE A DOG. THE OLD GENTLEMAN IS TERRIFIED BEYOND MEASURE. IF AT THE SAME TIME THE LITTLE BOY SHOULD ALSO PINCH THE LEG OF THE OLD GENTLEMAN, THE FORCE OF THE JOKE IS MUCH HEIGHTENED; BUT THEN INDEED HE MUST HAVE COURAGE, AND BE VERY ADROIT, OR HE MAY CHANCE TO GET A GREAT BANG FROM AN UMBRELLA OR STICK.] [Illustration: _AWKWARD._