_Railway Porter._ "NOW THEN, SIR! BY YOUR LEAVE!"] [Illustration: _THE BEARD MOVEMENT.--GAMMONING A GENT._ _Little Gent._ "'OW MUCH?" _Cabby._ "WELL, I'D RATHER LEAVE IT TO YOU, SIR! AND WHAT WE POOR HANSOMS IS TO DO WHEN ALL YOU OFFICERS IS GONE ABROAD, GOODNESS KNOWS."] [Illustration: _AWFUL SCENE ON THE CHAIN PIER, BRIGHTON._ _Nursemaid._ "LAWK! THERE GOES CHARLEY, AND HE'S TOOK HIS MAR'S PARASOL. WHAT WILL MISSUS SAY?"] [Illustration: _A LUMPING PENN'ORTH._ "NOW, MY MAN, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY, IF I GAVE YOU A PENNY?" "VY, THAT YOU VOS A JOLLY OLD BRICK!"] [Illustration: _RATHER SUSPICIOUS!_ _Sentimental Young Lady._ "WILL YOU BE SO OBLIGING, MR. TONGS, AS TO CUT OFF A LONG PIECE OF HAIR WHERE IT WILL NOT BE MISSED?"] [Illustration: _ALARMING._ THE OLD LADY IS SUPPOSED (AFTER A GREAT EFFORT) TO HAVE MADE UP HER MIND TO TRAVEL, JUST FOR ONCE, BY ONE "OF THOSE NEW-FANGLED RAILWAYS," AND THE FIRST THING SHE BEHOLDS ON ARRIVING AT THE STATION, IS THE ABOVE MOST ALARMING PLACARD.] [Illustration: _A SKETCH AT RAMSGATE._ _Ellen (who loves a joke at AUNT FIDGET'S expense)._ "GOOD GRACIOUS, AUNT, THERE ARE TWO OFFICERS!" _Aunt Fidget (a short-sighted lady)._ "BLESS ME, SO THERE ARE! WELL; THEY MAY BE OFFICERS, BUT THEY ARE NOT GENTLEMEN, I'M SURE, OR THEY WOULDN'T STAND LOOKING AT US IN THAT IMPUDENT MANNER."] [Illustration: _A PICTURE._ SHOWING WHAT MASTER TOM DID AF-TER SEE-ING A PAN-TO-MIME--BUT YOU WOULD NOT DO SO--OH DEAR NO!--BECAUSE YOU ARE A GOOD BOY.] [Illustration: _EASILY SATISFIED._ _Fond Parent._ "I DON'T CARE, MR. MEDIUM, ABOUT ITS BEING HIGHLY FINISHED; BUT I SHOULD LIKE THE DEAR CHILD'S EXPRESSION PRESERVED."] [Illustration: _A GREAT LOSS._ _Rapid Undergraduate._ "WELL, JACKSON! YOU SEE THEY'VE PLUCKED ME AGAIN." _Porter of St. Boniface._ "YE-ES, SIR, I WAS VERY SORRY WHEN I 'EARD OF IT, SIR." _Undergraduate._ "AH! I DID INTEND GOING INTO THE CHURCH, AND BEING AN ORNAMENT TO THE PROFESSION--BUT AS THEY WON'T LET ME THROUGH--I THINK--I SHALL CUT THE WHOLE CONCERN."] [Illustration: _RATHER A BAD LOOK-OUT._ _Young Sister._ "I SHOULD SO LIKE TO GO TO A PARTY, MA." _Mamma._ "MY DEAR, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. AS I HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE (I AM SURE A HUNDRED AND FIFTY TIMES), THAT UNTIL FLORA IS MARRIED, IT IS UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO GO OUT; SO DO NOT ALLUDE TO THE SUBJECT AGAIN, I BEG."] [Illustration: _A DREADFUL SHOCK TO THE NERVES._ "PLEASE, MEM, LET'S COME UNDER YOUR RUMBERELLER!"] MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HORSEKEEPING. [Illustration: No. V. MR. BRIGGS, DETERMINED TO HAVE NO MORE INFERIOR HORSES, GIVES A GOOD ROUND SUM FOR "A CLEVER COB--UP TO GREAT WEIGHT--AND THAT A CHILD MIGHT RIDE." HE HAS SOME FRIENDS (WHO REALLY KNOW WHAT A HORSE IS) TO DINE WITH HIM, WHOSE OPINIONS HE WISHES TO HAVE.