_Scene.--Room in Country House.--Breakfast-Table._ _Master Tom._ "OH, ROBERT!" _Robert._ "YES, SIR!" _Master Tom._ "OH, I SAY, ROBERT! THE LADIES WANT ME TO TAKE 'EM OUT FISHING TO-DAY. SO JUST TELL YOUNG EVANS I SHALL WANT HIM TO GO WITH ME TO GET SOME WASP GRUBS; AND--LOOK HERE! TELL THE GARDENER HE MUST GET ME SOME LARGE LOBWORMS DIRECTLY, AND A FEW SMALL FROGS, AS PERHAPS WE SHALL TRY FOR A JACK. AND--HI! ROBERT, TELL HIM TO SEND 'EM IN HERE, THAT I MAY SEE WHETHER THEY'RE THE RIGHT SORT!" [_General Exclamation of "Nasty Monkey!" from the Ladies. Old Gentleman being rather deaf, wishes_ MASTER TOM'S _remarks repeated_.] [Illustration: _FISHING OFF A WATERING PLACE._ PERHAPS THE JOLLIEST THING IN THE WORLD(!)] [Illustration: _A MAN OF FEELING._ _Gentleman._ "OH, CERTAINLY! YOU CAN GO, OF COURSE; BUT, AS YOU HAVE BEEN WITH ME FOR NINE YEARS, I SHOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE REASON." _Thomas._ "WHY, SIR, ITS MY _FEELINS_. YOU USED ALWAYS TO READ PRAYERS, SIR, YOURSELF--AND SINCE MISS WILKINS HAS BEEN HERE, SHE'S BIN A-READING OF 'EM. NOW, I CAN'T _BEMEAN_ MYSELF BY SAYIN' 'AMEN' TO A GUV'NESS."] [Illustration: _THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS._ _Serious Flunkey._ "I SHOULD REQUIRE, MADAM, FORTY POUNDS A YEAR, TWO SUITS OF CLOTHES, TWO 'ATS, MEAT AND HALE THREE TIMES A DAY, AND PIETY HINDISPENSABLE."] [Illustration: _A FRAGMENT._ "AND WILL YOU ALWAYS--ALWAYS, DEAREST ALBERIC, LOVE ME THUS?" SAID CONSTANCE. "EVER, WHILE THIS HEART BEATS WITH LIFE!" PASSIONATELY EXCLAIMED ALBERIC. "THEN COULD YOU LEND ME FIVE POUNDS?" MURMURED THE LADY; "FOR REALLY THINGS ARE SO BAD IN THE CITY, THAT I," &C., &C., &C.] [Illustration: _A FALSE POSITION._ _Individual (who is not over strong in his head, or firm on his legs)._ "D-D-D-D-ID WALTZING--EVER--MAKE--YOU--GIDDY? BECAUSE, I--SHALL--BE--HAPPY--TO--SIT--DOWN--WHENEVER--YOU'RE--TIRED!" _Girl (who is in high dancing condition)._ "OH, DEAR NO--I COULD WALTZ ALL NIGHT!"] [Illustration: _THE NEW BONNET._ _Frederick._ "THERE NOW, HOW VERY PROVOKING! I'VE LEFT THE PRAYER-BOOKS AT HOME!" _Maria._ "WELL, DEAR, NEVER MIND; BUT DO TELL ME, _IS MY BONNET STRAIGHT_?"] [Illustration: _IN CAMP.--HOSPITALITY._ _Officer._ "WELL, BUT LOOK HERE, OLD FELLOW; WHY NOT STOP ALL NIGHT?"] [Illustration: _A GREAT MENTAL EFFORT._ _First Cock Sparrow._ "WHAT A MIWACKULOUS TYE, FWANK! HOW THE DOOSE DO YOU MANAGE IT?" _Second Cock Sparrow._ "YAS. I FANCY IT IS RATHER GRAND; BUT THEN, YOU SEE, I GIVE THE WHOLE OF MY MIND TO IT."] [Illustration: _COMING HOME._ _Old Party (who is taking care of the house)._ "OH, YES, SIR. YOU'LL FIND THE ROOM NICE AN' CLEAN--AN' I'M SURE THE BED'S HAIRED--FOR I'VE BIN AN' SLEP IN IT MY OWN SELF HEVERY NIGHT."] [Illustration: _OH! THE CURTAINS._ _Objectionable Child._ "LOR, PA! ARE YOU GOING TO SMOKE? MY EYE! WON'T YOU CATCH IT WHEN MA COMES HOME, FOR MAKING THE CURTAINS SMELL!"] [Illustration: _DISTRACTION._