_Policeman._ "HA! THAT'S THE WAY YOU DRINK THE BEER WHEN YOU'RE SENT OF A HERRAND?" _Genius._ "AND THE RIGHT WAY TOO--AIN'T IT?"] [Illustration: _THE JOYS OF OCEAN._ _Smith._ "WELL, BROWN! THIS IS BETTER THAN BEING STEWED UP IN A RAILWAY! EH?" _Brown (faintly)._ "OH--IM-MEASURABLY SU-PERIOR."] [Illustration: _UNFEELING OBSERVATION._ _Vulgar Little Boy._ "OH, LOOK HERE, BILL! HERE'S A POOR BOY BIN AND HAD THE HINFLUENZA, AND NOW HE'S BROKE OUT ALL OVER BUTTONS AND RED STRIPES."] [Illustration: _IN FOR IT._ "HALLO, SIR! ARE YOU AWARE YOU'RE TRESPASSING THERE?"] [Illustration: _THE CORRECT MODE OF RIDING IN ROTTEN ROW._ GALLOP AS HARD AS YOU CAN AMONGST THE LADIES. IT CREATES A SENSATION!!] [Illustration: _A HACK FOR THE DAY._ _Stable-Keeper (to little Gent)._ "SET TO KICKING, AND THEN BOLTED INTO A SHOP! DID HE, NOW? AH! HE ALWAYS WAS A _LIGHT-'ARTED_ 'OSS."] [Illustration: _SPORTING EXTRAORDINARY--THE OLD DOG POINTS CAPITALLY._ "I TELL YER WHAT IT IS, SAM! IF THIS FOOL OF A DOG IS GOING TO STAND STILL LIKE THIS HERE IN EVERY FIELD HE COMES TO, WE MAY AS WELL SHUT UP SHOP, FOR WE SHAN'T FIND NO PARTRIDGES."] [Illustration: _THE GREENWICH DINNER.--A CONVIVIAL MOMENT._ _Gentleman (under the influence of White Bait)._ "WELL, OLD FELLA--REKLECT--PRESHENT COMPANY DINE HERE WITH ME EVERY MONDAY, THURSDAY, AN' SAT'DY--FRIDAY--NO--TOOSDAY, THURSDAY, AND SAT'DY--MIND AN' DON' FORGET--I SAY--WHAT A GOOD FELLA YOU ARE--GREATEST 'STEEM AND REGARD FOR YOU, OLD FELLA!!!"] [Illustration: _STRONG ASSERTION._ _Omnibus Driver (addressing another)._ "YOU'RE A PRETTY FELLOW, YOU ARE. YOU CALL YOURSELF A MAN? WHY, I'VE SEEN A BETTER MAN THAN YOU MADE OUT OF TEA-LEAVES!"] [Illustration: _ALARMING SYMPTOMS AFTER EATING BOILED BEEF AND GOOSEBERRY PIE._ _Little Boy._ "OH, LOR, MAR, I FEEL JUST EXACTLY AS IF MY JACKET WAS BUTTONED."] [Illustration: _VERY FINE FRUIT._ _Newspaper Boy (reads)._ "A GENTLEMAN IN THE N-E-I-G-H--NEIGHBOURHOOD OF----, HAS AT THE PRESENT TIME SEVERAL E-NORMOUS GOOSEBERRIES IN HIS GARDEN, WHICH MEASURE TEN INCHES IN C-I-R-CIR C-U-M-CUM F-E-R-FER E-N-C-E-ENCE CIRCUMFERENCE, AND ARE OF THE A-S-AS ASTON ASTONISHING WEIGHT OF THREE HOUNCES HEACH." _His Friend._ "OH, WHAT WHOPPERS! WOULDN'T I LIKE A PINT!"] [Illustration: _A PHILOSOPHER._ _Harriet._ "ST! ST! ST! DEAR ME, NOW, I'VE BROKEN MY COMB, AND ALL MY BACK HAIR'S COME DOWN. WHAT WITH BRUSHING, AND DRESSING, AND CURLING, AND ONE THING AND THE OTHER, WHAT A PLAGUE ONE'S HAIR IS TO BE SURE!" _Young Fellow._ "WELL, HARRIET, WE ARE ALL BOTHERED WITH SOMETHING. LOOK AT US MEN; WE HAVE TO SHAVE EVERY MORNING, SUMMER AND WINTER!"] [Illustration: _MATERNAL SOLICITUDE._ _Mamma._ "GEORGINA! GEORGINA!" _Georgina._ "WELL, MA. HOW YOU DO FIDGET ONE!" _ Mamma._ "SHOULDERS, MY LOVE; SHOULDERS! PRAY HOLD YOURSELF UP. YOU'RE STOOPING AGAIN DREADFULLY."] [Illustration: _ALARMING OCCURRENCE._