_Lady Crinoline._ "YOU WON'T MIND RIDING ON THE BOX, EDWARD DEAR, WILL YOU?--I'M AFRAID, IF WE BOTH GO INSIDE THE BROUGHAM, MY NEW DRESS WILL GET SO RUMPLED!"] [Illustration: _A NICE OFFER._ _Cousin_ (_who is a leetle fast_). "MORNIN', CHARLES! NOW THEN, IF YOU WILL POP ON YOUR HATS, AND WRAP YOURSELVES UP WARM, I'LL TAKE YOU AND YOUR FRIEND OUT FOR A DRIVE!"] [Illustration: _INFRA DIG._ EFFECT OF THE CAB-STRIKE--GOING TO THE OPERA IN A WHEELBARROW.] [Illustration: _UNABASHED._ _Emily._ "WHY, MY GOODNESS, FRANK! WHAT A DREADFUL BLACK EYE YOU HAVE! YOU ARE QUITE DISFIGURED!" _Frank._ "H'M, HAH! THAT'S VERY DISAGREEABLE, NOW; I WAS IN HOPES NO ONE WOULD HAVE PERCEIVED IT!" [Frank _has been so unfortunate as to catch a cold in his eye from sitting in a draught at Exeter Hall--so he SAYS._ ] [Illustration: _AN INCIDENT OF TRAVEL._ AS THE TRAIN STOPS, MR. P. ENDEAVOURS TO GET SOME STOUT FOR HIS WIFE, WHO FROM CIRCUMSTANCES, IS OBLIGED TO DRINK THAT REFRESHING BEVERAGE FOUR OR FIVE TIMES A-DAY. UNFORTUNATELY MR. P. CANNOT FIND HIS CARRIAGE, AND, AS THE TRAIN IS RATHER BEHIND TIME, THE OFFICIALS ARE IN SOME HURRY AND CONFUSION.] [Illustration: _LET US HAVE JAPANESE MANNERS AND CUSTOMS HERE._ "THE TRAVELLER, WEARIED WITH THE NOONDAY HEAT, NEED NEVER BE AT A LOSS TO FIND REST AND REFRESHMENT; STRETCHED UPON THE SOFTEST AND CLEANEST OF MATTING, IMBIBING THE MOST DELICATELY FLAVOURED TEA, INHALING THE FRAGRANT TOBACCO OF JAPAN, HE RESIGNS HIMSELF TO THE MINISTRATIONS OF A BEVY OF FAIR DAMSELS, WHO GLIDE RAPIDLY AND NOISELESSLY ABOUT, THE MOST ZEALOUS AND SKILFUL OF ATTENDANTS."--_TIMES._] [Illustration: _A DELICATE CREATURE._ _Youthful Swell._ "NOW CHARLEY--YOU'RE JUST IN TIME FOR BREAKFAST, HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE?" _Languid Swell_ (_probably in a Government Office_). "THANKS! NO! I ASSURE YAH--MY DE-AR FELLAH! IF I WAS TO TAKE A CUP OF COFFEE IN THE MORNING, IT WOULD KEEP ME AWAKE ALL DAY!"] [Illustration: _RECREATIONS IN NATURAL HISTORY._ _First Naturalist._ "WHAT! THE S-S-HE-SHER-PENT A-AN (HIC) ICH-(HIC-)THYOSAURUS? NONSHE-ENSE!" _Second Naturalist._ "WHO SAID ICH-(HIC) ICHTHY-O-SAURUS? I SAID A (HIC) PLESI-O-(HIC)-SAURUS PLAINENUFF."] [Illustration: _VERY CONSIDERATE._ _Steward._ "WILL EITHER OF YOU, GENTLEMEN, DINE ON BOARD? THERE'S A CAPITAL HOT DINNER AT THREE O'CLOCK."] [Illustration: _PERFECTLY DWEADFUL!_ _Guard._ "NOW, SIR! IF YOU'RE GOING ON BY THE EXPRESS, HERE'S JUST ROOM FOR ONE!" _Tourist._ "WHA-T! GET IN WITH HAWWID OLD WOMEN, AND SQUEEMING CHILDREN! BY JOVE! YOU KNOW! I SAY! IT'S IMPAWSIBLE, YOU KNOW!"] [Illustration: _SCENE--A CLUB._ _Swell._ "HAW! IS THERE ANYTHING WEADY FOR DINNAW?" _Waiter._ "SHOULDER OF MUTTON JUST READY, SIR!" _Swell._ "HAW--SHOULDAW OF MUTTON!--AW--WHAT A VEWY ODD THING FOR DINNAW!--THOUGHT THEY ONLY MADE _GLUE_ OF SHOULDAW OF MUTTON!"] [Illustration: _FLATTERING._