_Boy_ (_in allusion to_ BROWN, _who thinks he is well got up_). "OH! LOOK HERE, BILLY. THEY'VE GOT A DINNER PARTY AT THIS 'OUSE--AND IF 'ERE AIN'T THE COVE WHAT'S A-GOING TO WAIT."] [Illustration: _BENEFIT OF CLERGY._ _Binks, Minor_ (_loq._). "AH! YOU CAN'T THINK HOW A FELLA SAVES, WHEN HE GOES INTO THE CHURCH. I USED TO GIVE SNOBBINS THREE GUINEAS FOR MY BOOTS, AND _NOW_ I GET THEM MADE FOR TWO POUND TWELVE." _Binks, Major._ "BY JOVE!"] [Illustration: _A BARE ASSERTION._ _Fred._ "HOW DO YOU LIKE THE ALTERATION, BLANCHE?" _Blanche._ "WHAT ALTERATION, DEAR?" _Fred._ "WHY, HANG IT!--HAVEN'T I CUT OFF MY BEARD AND MOUSTACHES?"] [Illustration: _MR. PUNCH AT HOME._] [Illustration: _THE FRUGAL MARRIAGE QUESTION._ _Jones_ (_of the Dandelion Club_). "DOOCED JOLLY, I SHOULD SAY, TO MARRY ON £300 A-YEAR! THINK A SEE MYSELF WOCKING A CWADLE, AND FETCHING HOME THE MUTTON FROM THE BAKER!" [_Orders Glass of Dry Curaçoa_. ] [Illustration: _FAINT ATTEMPT TO CARRY OUT JONES'S IDEA._] [Illustration: _THOSE HORRID BOYS!_ _Precise Female_ (_in answer to a rude inquiry_). "YOU ARE A VERY IMPERTINENT BOY!--YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL THAT IT IS A MATTER OF NO MOMENT TO YOU WHO MY HATTER IS!"] [Illustration: _VAGARIES OF FASHION._ _Charles._ "FIGURE, INDEED! WHAT'S A FELLOW TO DO? A MAN MUST WEAR SOMETHING. HATS AND COATS ARE OUT OF THE QUESTION--THEY ARE REALLY SO VERY EFFEMINATE."] [Illustration: _NOT A QUESTION OF WEATHER._ WHEN IT IS VERY FOGGY IN LONDON, IT IS DELIGHTFUL AT BRIGHTON--AT LEAST SO CHARLES AND GEORGINA THINK.] [Illustration: _IS SMOKING INJURIOUS?_ _Youthful Swell._ "HAW! LOOK HERE! IS THAT CHEST OF CIGARS YOU IMPORTED FOR ME RIPE YET?" _Cigar Dealer._ "WELL, SIR--I FEAR NOT--THAT IS, NOT RIPE FOR YOUR TASTE, SIR, FOR AT LEAST THREE WEEKS; BUT WE CAN SPARE YOU A COUPLE OF THOUSAND OF THESE GIANT REGALIAS TO GO ON WITH TILL THE WEATHER IS MILDER, WHEN YOUR CIGARS WILL MELLOW RAPIDLY!" [_Youth accepts the generous offer, and lounges out with a Giant Regalia as big as his leg in his mouth._ ] [Illustration: _THE SHUTTLE-COCK NUISANCE._ _Little Girl._ "OH, I BEG YOUR PARDON SIR!--IT WAS THE WIND AS DONE IT!"] [Illustration: _PRUDENT RESOLVE._ _Little Party._ "GO AND WALK IN HYDE PARK? OH, AH!--I DESSAY! AND GET PELTED FOR A HARISTOCRAT?--NO THANK 'E--NOT IF I KNOW IT."] [Illustration: _A PLEASING BELIEF._ _Whipper._ "WELL, I WEAR MINE BECAUSE IT SAVES TROUBLE, AND IS SO VERY 'EALTHY." _Snapper._ "HAH, WELL THERE AIN'T NO HUMBUG ABOUT ME; I WEAR MINE BECAUSE THEY LOOKS 'ANSOM, AND GOES DOWN WITH THE GALS."] [Illustration: _RAILWAY COLLUSION--A HINT TO STATION-MASTERS._ _Porter._ "NOW, THEN, BILL! ARE YOU OFF?" _Cab Ruffian._ "NO; WHAT SORT OF FARE IS IT?" _Porter._ "SINGLE GENT, WITH SMALL BAG." _Ruffian._ "OH, _HE_ WON'T DO! CAN'T YER FIND US A OLD LADY AND TWO LITTLE GALS WITH LOTS O' BOXES? I'M GOOD FOR A PINT!"] [Illustration: _DISAGREEABLE TRUTH._ _Soldier._ "NOW, THEN! YOU MUST MOVE AWAY FROM HERE."