_Wife._ "WHY, DEAR ME, WILLIAM; HOW TIME FLIES! I DECLARE WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED TEN YEARS TO-DAY!" _Wretch._ "HAVE WE, LOVE! I AM SURE I THOUGHT IT HAD BEEN A GREAT DEAL LONGER."] [Illustration: _AN ENGLISH NOBLEMAN, PAINTED BY THE FRENCH._ _Milord._ "GODAM! ROSBIF! I SHALL SELL MY WIFE AT SMITHFIELD, DAM!"] [Illustration: _A STORM IN A TEACUP._ _Head Nurse_ (_with much dignity_). "MISS MARY! YOU SHALL NOT STIR YOUR TEA WITH THE SNUFFERS!--IT IS NOT LADY-LIKE, AND I AM QUITE SURE YOUR PAPA WOULD NOT APPROVE OF IT!" [MISS MARY _howls awfully, and smashes tea-cup_. ] [Illustration: _WAITING FOR THE CARRIAGE._ _Charlie._ "THIS WILL BE A STUPID AFFAIR, GEORGY." _Georgy._ "OH! YES--ONLY A WHITE FROCK AND BLACK MITTEN PARTY--VERY SLOW!" [_Old Nurse wonders what next._ ] [Illustration: _WORKING AGAINST TIME._ THE ARTIST GIVES THE FINISHING TOUCH TO HIS PICTURE. HE HAS BEEN SO BUSY THAT HE HAS NOT EVEN BEEN ABLE TO GET HIS HAIR CUT [Illustration: _KETCHEE! KETCHEE!_ MR. PUNCH IN THE BOSOM OF HIS FAMILY.] [Illustration: _DID YOU EVER!_ _Augustus._ "I SAY, AUNT! DID YOU SEE WHAT THE NEWSPAPER SAYS ABOUT THE ECLIPSE?" _Aunt._ "NO! WHAT DOES IT SAY? READ IT, CHILD! ANYTHING RELATING TO THAT WONDERFUL EVENT IS INTERESTING." _Augustus._ "WHY, IT SAYS THAT IT IS EXPECTED TO HAVE AN EXTRAORDINARY EFFECT UPON THE INFERIOR ANIMALS! MY WIG! I'D HAVE YOU AND THE GIRLS LOOK OUT FOR SQUALLS!" [_Disgusting, Low-Minded Boy._ ] [Illustration: _FUMIGATION._ _Coster._ "'SCUSE ME, MARM, BUT DID YER WANT YER GREEN-'OUSE SMOKED?--NO CHARGE. ONLY TO FIND THE 'BACCA, AND A DROP O' SUMTHIN' TO DRINK!"] [Illustration: _WARBLERS UNDER WATER._] [Illustration: _OH DEAR!_ THAT REGULAR FAMILY NEXT DOOR ARE HAVING THEIR CHIMNEY SWEPT AGAIN.] [Illustration: _EARLY PHILOSOPHY._ _Juvenile._ "AH, IT'S ALL VERY WELL! LOVE MAY DO FOR BOYS AND GALS; BUT WE, AS MEN OF THE WORLD, KNOW 'OW 'OLLOW IT IS."] [Illustration: _OUT OF HIS ELEMENT._ _Flunkey_ (_who does not approve of Bloomsbury_). "NO, MA'AM, I DON'T OBJEC' TO THE 'OUSE, FOR IT'S HAIREY, AND THE VITTLES IS GOOD; BUT THE FACT IS THAT ALL MY CONNEXIONS LIVE IN BELGRAVIA!"] [Illustration: _TOO BAD!_ _Bertha._ "NOW, REALLY, CHARLES, YOU ARE VERY PROVOKING. I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR MY HAT EVERYWHERE--AND I DECLARE YOU ARE SITTING UPON IT."] [Illustration: _A VICTIM OF FASHION._ _Police Constable_ (_to Boy_). "NOW THEN, OFF WITH THAT HOOP! OR I'LL PRECIOUS SOON HELP YOU!" _Lady_ (_who imagines the observation is addressed to her_). "WHAT A MONSTER!" [_Lifts up the Crinoline, and hurries off._ ] THE BRITISH FORCES AND THE CRIMEAN WAR. [Illustration: _PREPARATIONS FOR WAR._--I. _Officer_ (_who is going to the East_). "OF COURSE, IT'S RATHER A BORE JUST AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON--AND I SHALL MISS THE DERBY! WISH THEY COULD HAVE HAD THE RUSSIANS OVER HERE, BECAUSE THEN WE COULD HAVE THRASHED 'EM IN HYDE PARK, AND DINED AT GREENWICH AFTERWARDS, YOU KNOW."]