_Old Gentleman_ (_who is of course much behind his age_). "WELL, MY LITTLE DEAR, AND PRAY WHAT NICE LITTLE GIRL ARE YOU?" _Little Girl._ "OH, IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, I'M A PUSEYITE, AND SO'S BESSY 'ARRIS." (_To Young Lady._) "AIN'T WE, MEM?"] [Illustration: _ASSURANCE._ _Juvenile_. "AW, HAIRDRESSER, WHEN YOU'VE FINISHED MY HAIR, JUST TAKE OFF MY BEARD, WILL YOU?"] [Illustration: _THE NEW THEATRE._ _Constance_ (_reads advertisement to Alice_). "'* * * _The Orchestra Stalls will be exceedingly commodious. Each person will have a separate Arm-Chair, occupying a space of two feet in breadth._' H'M--I DON'T SEE THAT THAT'S SO EXCEEDINGLY COMMODIOUS--EH, DEAR?"] [Illustration: _AN AGREEABLE PRESCRIPTION._ "THE WEATHER IS CHARMING, ALTHOUGH I DO NOT FEEL MUCH INCLINED FOR TRANSACTIONS OF A BUSINESS NATURE. I AM DECIDEDLY BETTER. MY DOCTOR, A MOST SENSIBLE MAN, RECOMMENDS ME TO TAKE HORSE EXERCISE, AND GO INTO AGREEABLE SOCIETY. I ENDEAVOUR TO CARRY OUT HIS SUGGESTIONS."--_Scarborough._] [Illustration: _SIGHING FOR THE SUNNY SOUTH._ _Omnibus Driver._ "I DON'T LIKE BEING A HABSENTEE, JEM; BUT IF THIS PRECIOUS EASTERLY VIND LASTS MUCH LONGER, I SHALL BE HOFF WITH MY FAMILY TO THE SOUTH OF FRANCE."] [Illustration: _AFFECTING--RATHER._ _Alfred._ "TELL ME, MY OWN ONE, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU HAVE TO SAY BEFORE I GO?" _Emma._ "YES, DEAREST--DO NOT--OH, DO NOT FORGET TO BRING THE-TH-TH-BRUNSWICK SAUSAGE FROM F-F-F-FORT-NUM AND MASON'S."] [Illustration: _A PREJUDICED OPINION._ "I TELL YER WHAT, BILL, I THINK THE POLICE ARE A BAD LOT--AND I WISH THEY WAS DONE AWAY WITH ALTOGETHER."] [Illustration: _A GOLDEN RULE._ "LET US SPEAK OF A MAN AS WE FIND HIM."] [Illustration: _A DELICATE HINT._ _Brighton Boatman._ "THERE'S A WESSEL OUT THERE, SIR, A LABOURIN' A GOOD DEAL, SIR! AH, SIR, SAILORS WORKS WERRY 'ARD--PRECIOUS 'ARD LINES IT IS FOR THE POOR FELLERS OUT THERE!--PRECIOUS 'ARD IT IS FOR EVERYBODY JUST NOW. I KNOW _I_ SHOULD LIKE THE PRICE OF A PINT O' BEER AND A BIT O' BACCA!"] [Illustration: _THE MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT._ _Railway Official_ (_waking Old Gent from a sweet sleep_). "TICKETS, PLEASE!"] [Illustration: _BY THE SAD SEA WAVES._ TOMKINS, DISCONSOLATE ON A ROCK, TRACES SOME CHARACTERS UPON THE SAND. TO HIM, MRS. TOMKINS (WHOSE NAME IS MARTHA). _Mrs. T._ "WELL, MR. TOMKINS, AND PRAY WHO MAY HENRIETTA BE?" [TOMKINS _utters a yell of despair, and falls prostrate_. ] [Illustration: _SCHOLASTIC._ _Mother._ "AND, PRAY, DOCTOR, WHAT ARE YOUR TERMS FOR HEDUCATING LITTLE BOYS?" _The Principal._ "WHY, MY DEAR MADAM, MY USUAL TERMS ARE SEVENTY GUINEAS _PER ANNUM_ (TO USE THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANCIENT ROMANS), BUT TO EFFECT MY OBJECT (?) QUICKLY, I WOULD TAKE A FEW FOR WHAT I COULD GET, PROVIDED THEY BE =GENTLEMEN=, LIKE YOUR DEAR LITTLE BOY THERE; BUT (AGAIN TO USE THE LATIN TONGUE) IT IS A _SINE QUA NON_ THAT THEY SHOULD BE =GENTLEMEN=!!" [Illustration: _QUEEN OF THE MAY._] [Illustration: _A PERFECT WRETCH._