_Impudent Boy._ "I SAY, BILL! COME AND SEE THE CONJURING--HERE'S THIS HERE GAL A GOIN' TO SQUEEZE HERSELF INTO THAT THERE BROOM!"] [Illustration: _PLEASANT FOR "CHARLES DEAR."_ _Married Sister._ "OH, CHARLES DEAR! NURSE IS NOT VERY WELL, AND AS I MUST STAY WITH BABY, WOULD YOU TAKE FREDDY AND THE TWO LITTLE ONES FOR A WALK, ONLY CARRY THEM OVER THE CROSSINGS, THAT'S A DEAR!"] [Illustration: _TOO MUCH!_ _Party_ (_who hates bad music in the middle of the night_). "WH-A-T!! THE WAITS! CALLED FOR A CHRISTMAS BOX!--STOP A BIT!!"---- [_The rest is too terrible._ ] [Illustration: _MARRY ON £300 A-YEAR!_ _Passer-by_ (_to the Crossing-Sweeper_). "WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT?" _Sweeper._ "WELL, SIR, I BELIEVE IT'S A KIND OF WEDDING; BUT IT AIN'T LIKELY TO BE AN 'APPY UNION--ONLY TWO BROUGHAMS AND A HACK CAB!"] [Illustration: _AN OBJECT OF SINCERE PITY._] [Illustration: _OFFENDED DIGNITY._ _Small Swell_ (_who has just finished a Quadrille_). "H'M, THANK GOODNESS, THAT'S OVER! DON'T GIVE ME YOUR BREAD-AND-BUTTER MISSES TO DANCE WITH. I LIKE YOUR GROWN WOMEN OF THE WORLD!"--(_N.B. The bread-and-butter Miss has asked him how old he was, and when he went back to School._)] [Illustration: _VERY LARGE NOTIONS._ _Man of the World._ "WHAT RUBBISH ALL THIS IS ABOUT MARRYING ON £300 A-YEAR! WHY, IT AIN'T ENOUGH TO BUY A FELLAH CIGARS!"] [Illustration: _AN UNWELCOME VISITOR._ TALK OF A MAD DOG, INDEED!--WHAT'S THAT TO A WET ISLE OF SKYE TERRIER UNDER THE BREAKFAST TABLE ON A HUNTING MORNING, AMONGST THE NICE CLEAN TOPS AND BUCKSKINS? [_A Favourite Lawn Meet--and not a moment to spare._ ] [Illustration: _JUVENILE WISDOM._ _Florence._ "----AND HOW OLD IS YOUR PONY, FRED?" _Fred._ "WELL, I DON'T KNOW, EXACTLY--BUT ROBERT THINKS HE IS ABOUT FOURTEEN YEARS!" _Florence._ "OH!--THEN I SUPPOSE HE WILL VERY SOON BE A HORSE!"] [Illustration: _SNOWED UP._ POOR FELLOWS! THEY CAN'T GET ANY HUNTING, AND ARE OBLIGED TO PLAY AT SCRATCH CRADLE WITH THEIR COUSINS.] [Illustration: _A WEIGHTY MATTER._ _Frederic_ (_a very big boy_). "THAT'S A NICEISH PONY OF YOURS, CHARLEY.--BY THE BYE, HOW HEAVY ARE YOU?" _Charley._ "WELL, WITHIN A POUND OF THREE STONE, I'M SORRY TO SAY." _Frederic._ "OH, I CALL THAT A NICE WEIGHT. NOW, I'M OBLIGED TO HAVE VERY EXPENSIVE PONIES, FOR, WITH SADDLE AND BRIDLE, I DON'T RIDE LESS THAN FOUR STONE TWO!"] [Illustration: _A GOOD LIVER._ _Frank._ "I SAY, GRANDPA! HAVEN'T YOU GOT SOME CHAPS COMING TO GRUB WITH YOU TO-DAY?" _Grandpa._ "EH! WHAT? SOME GENTLEMEN ARE COMING TO DINE WITH ME TO-DAY, SIR, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN!" _Frank._ "HAH! SAME THING! WELL, LOOK HERE! YOUR COOK ISN'T A GREAT HAND AT A SALAD--NOW THAT'S A THING I FLATTER MYSELF I UNDERSTAND BETTER THAN MOST MEN--SO, IF YOU LIKE, I'LL MIX YOU ONE!"] [Illustration: _THE OLD FOXHUNTER._ _Flora._ "WELL, RONALD! AND HOW DO YOU LIKE ROTTEN ROW?"