_Plush Adonis._ "I SHOULD OBSERVE, MY LADY,--THAT IF YOU ENGAGE ME, I SHOULD REQUIRE TO BE AT LEAST SIX MONTHS IN TOWN, IN A GOOD NEIGHBOURHOOD--AND THAT IF YOU SHOULD AT ANY TIME LIVE NORTH OF THE NEW ROAD, I SHOULD EXPECT FIVE GUINEAS PER ANNUM INCREASE OF SALARY!" [_Fact._ ] [Illustration: _YIELDING TO TEMPTATION._ _Mr. Hobble-de-Hoye._ "I'M VERY FOND OF 'EM--THERE'S NO ONE LOOKING!--DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULDN'T--I WILL!--YES--I'LL HAVE A PENN'ORTH!]" [Illustration: _MUCH ABOVE THAT SORT OF THING._] [Illustration: _SERVE HIM RIGHT._ _Swell_ (_who, when he is asked to dine at half-past six, thinks it fine to come at half-past eight_). "HAW! I'M AFRAID YOU'VE BEEN WAITING DINNAW FOR ME!" _Lady of the House._ "OH DEAR, NO! WE HAVE DINED SOME TIME; WILL YOU TAKE SOME TEA?"] [Illustration: _PHYSICAL EDUCATION._] [Illustration: _A CONSULTATION._ _Veterinary Surgeon._ "LEGS QUEER, SIR! DO YOU 'ACK 'IM OR 'UNT 'IM?" _Proprietor of Quadruped._ "I HUNT HIM SOMETIMES, BUT I MOSTLY USE HIM AS A HACK." _Veterinary Surgeon._ "AH, SIR, THAT'S WHERE IT IS. IT AIN'T THE 'UNTING AS 'URTS 'IM, IT'S THE 'AMMER, 'AMMER, 'AMMER ALONG THE 'ARD 'IGH ROAD!"] [Illustration: _THE STREET ACROBAT NUISANCE._ UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT HE IS UNOBSERVED, MR. PUDDLE OFFERS HIS HAND AND HEART TO THE OBJECT OF HIS AFFECTIONS.] [Illustration: _PHOTOGRAPHIC BEAUTIES._ "I SAY, MISTER, HERE'S ME AND MY MATE WANTS OUR FOTERGRUFFS TOOK; AND MIND, WE WANTS 'EM 'ANSOM, COS THEY'RE TO GIVE TO TWO LADIES."] [Illustration: _EQUINE._ _Dealer._ "THERE! I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO FIND A FAULT WITH HIM!" _Customer._ "BUT HE'S GOT SUCH A BEASTLY TAIL!" _Dealer._ "BEASTLY TAIL! THERE NEVER WAS A BAD RAT-TAILED 'OSS. WHY, _WE GO MILES TO FIND 'EM_!"] [Illustration: _PLEASING PROSPECT._ _Friend from Town._ "WELL! AND HOW'S THE MARE?" _Country Friend._ "OH! ALL RIGHT, OLD BOY! SHE WILL BE AS FRESH AS PAINT FOR YOU TO-MORROW, FOR SHE HASN'T BEEN HUNTED SINCE THE DAY SHE PUT FRANK RAILER'S SHOULDER OUT!"] [Illustration: _WHY NOT?_ THE GREAT MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT.--FAIR PLAY FOR THE BAKER.] [Illustration: _A STARTLING NOVELTY IN SHIRTS._] [Illustration: _AN OBJECT OF UNIVERSAL SYMPATHY._ MR. PEEWIT HAS A LITTLE ADDITION TO HIS FAMILY--HE IS OBLIGED TO GET HIS MEALS ANYHOW-- AND-- ABDICATES IN FAVOUR OF THE _REAL_ MASTER OF THE HOUSE.] [Illustration: _A HINT TO THE AUTHORITIES._ AN ECONOMICAL MODE OF PUTTING TROOPS INTO WHITE TROUSERS.] [Illustration: _DELUSIVE NOTION._ THE YOUNG GENT WHO IS GOING TO MAKE A RAPID FORTUNE BY BETTING.] [Illustration: _A SCENE AT A RAILWAY STATION._ _Groom._ "BEG PARDON, SIR,--BUT WOS YOUR NAME TOMKINS?" _Tomkins._ "YES!" _Groom._ "IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, MASTER SAYS HE WOS WERRY SORRY AS HE COULDN'T SEND THE FEEATON--BUT, AS HIS YOUNG 'OSS WANTED EXERCISE, HE THOUGHT YOU WOULDN'T MIND RIDIN' OF 'IM." [TOMKINS _bursts into a cold perspiration._ ] [Illustration: _THE UNFITNESS OF THINGS._