INVASION, INDEED! WHY, HERE IS A CORPS OF VOLUNTEERS, WHO HAVE NEVER EVEN BEEN THOUGHT OF--WHAT WITH THE GLANCES AND THE ARROWS THEY WOULD SHOOT, AN ENEMY WOULD BE WORRIED TO DEATH IN NO TIME!] [Illustration: _SERVANTGALISM._--No. XI. _Mistress._ "NOT GOING TO REMAIN IN A SITUATION ANY LONGER! WHY, YOU FOOLISH THINGS, WHAT _ARE_ YOU GOING TO DO, THEN?" _Eliza._ "WHY, MA'AM, YOU SEE OUR _FORTUNE-TELLER_ SAY THAT TWO YOUNG NOBLEMEN IS A-GOING TO MARRY US--SO THERE'S NO CALL TO REMAIN IN NO SITUATIONS NO MORE!"] [Illustration: _A MONSTROUS LIBERTY._ _Flunkey._ "HALLO, WILLIAM, WHAT'S THE MATTER?" _Groom._ "MATTER?--WHY, I SHOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT NEXT?--HERE'S MASTER, WITHOUT SAYING NOTHUN TO ME, 'AS BIN AND LENT _MY_ 'OSS TO A FRIEND--AND I'M DONE OUT OF MY AFTERNOON'S RIDE!"] [Illustration: _SERVANTGALISM._--No. XII. _Mistress._ "I THINK, COOK, WE MUST PART THIS DAY MONTH." _Cook_ (_in astonishment_). "WHY, MA'AM? I AM SURE I'VE LET YOU HAVE YOUR OWN WAY IN 'MOST EVERYTHINK!"] [Illustration: _THE SKELETON IN THE CUPBOARD._] [Illustration: _FRIENDLY SYMPATHY._ _First Party_ (_who is hard hit, and sentimental_). "THIS IS THE VERY SPOT WHERE I LAST SAW THE DARLING CREATURE. I ASSURE YOU, FRANK, SHE IS THE LOVELIEST, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, THE--THE--TH'--IN FACT----" _Second Party_ (_who has heard the same thing for the last two hours_). "H'M! HA! DESSAY! YES. I SAY, OLD FELLAH, HAVE A WEED!"] [Illustration: _MEN OF TASTE._ _Alphonso._ "YOU FIND YOUR MOOSTARCHERS A GREAT COMFORT, DON'T YOU, TOM?" _Tom._ "WELL!--YES!--BUT I'M AFRAID I MUST CUT 'EM, FOR ONE'S OBLIGED TO DRESS SO DEUCED EXPENSIVE TO MAKE EVERYTHING ACCORD!"] [Illustration: _CAUTION TO GENTLEMEN WALKING TO EVENING PARTIES._ DON'T FORGET TO TAKE OFF YOUR GOLOSHES AND TURN DOWN YOUR TROUSERS BEFORE ENTERING THE ROOM.] [Illustration: _HUMILITY._] [Illustration: _A DAY AT THE CAMP._ _Sentinel._ "WHO COMES THERE?" _Ebriosus._ "FRIEND!" _Sentinel._ "ADVANCE, FRIEND!" _Ebriosus._ "ADVANSH; COME, THATSH A GOOD UN!"] [Illustration: _RUSTIC PLEASANTRY._ _Gent. on Horseback._ "GET OUT OF THE WAY, BOY!--GET OUT OF THE WAY!--MY HORSE DON'T LIKE DONKEYS!" _Boy._ "DOAN'T HE?--THEN WHY DOAN'T HE KICK THEE ORF?"] [Illustration: _MUCH TOO CURIOUS._ _Officious Little Gent._ "HOLLO, CABBY, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOUR 'ORSE?" _Cabby._ "WELL--THAT'S JUST WHAT I DON'T KNOW, AND I BRED HIM. YOU'RE ALWAYS WANTING TO BE BEHIND THE SCENES, YOU ARE! SUPPOSE YOU GET INSIDE AND SEE!"] [Illustration: _THE PLEASURE OF LE SPORT._ _Foreigner of Distinction_ (_about to charge an obstacle_). "TAKE NOTICE, MES AMIS! ZAT I LEAVE EVERY SING TO MY VIFE!"] [Illustration: _A JUDGE BY APPEARANCE._ _Bathing Guide._ "BLESS 'IS 'ART! I KNOW'D HE'D TAKE TO IT KINDLY--BY THE WERRY LOOKS ON 'IM!"] [Illustration: _A VERY NATURAL MISTAKE._ _Young Lady_ (_who is in Hat and Coat of the Period_). "CAN I HAVE A MACHINE NOW?" _Bathing Woman._ "NOT HERE, SIR!--GENTLEMEN'S BATHING A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN!"]