[Illustration: _COMMON OBJECTS AT THE SEA-SIDE._ "OH! LOOK HERE, MA! I'VE CAUGHT A FISH JUST LIKE THOSE THINGAMIES IN MY BED AT OUR LODGINGS!"] [Illustration: _GUY-FAWKES DAY._ A STURDY DEFENDER OF CHURCH AND STATE.] [Illustration: _IRISH LAKE-FISHING._ _Mr. Briggs._ "BUT THE BOAT SEEMS VERY LEAKY, AND TO WANT MENDING A GOOD DEAL." _Boatman._ "WANT MENDIN' IS IT? OH, NIVER FEAR! SHURE THE BOAT'S WELL ENOUGH. IF YE SIT STILL, AND DON'T COFF OR SNAZE, SHE'LL CARRY YE PRETTY WELL!"] [Illustration: _LAST REFUGE OF A BANISHED SMOKER._ _First Juvenile Swell._ "JUMP IN, OLD FELLAH!" _Second Ditto._ "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" _First Ditto._ "OH! NOWHERE! I'VE ONLY HIRED HIM TO HAVE SOMEWHERE TO SMOKE!"] [Illustration: _AN EAST WIND JOKE._ _Brown._ "AH, TOMKINS! HERE'S A MERRY SPRING TO YOU!" _Tomkins._ "THE SAME TO YOU, BROWN, AND MANY OF THEM, IF YOU COME TO THAT!"] [Illustration: _NOT VERY LIKELY._ THE PARTY "WHO HAS A CERTAINTY" FOR THE EMPEROR'S PLATE. N.B. SEND EIGHTEEN POSTAGE STAMPS.] [Illustration: _CENSORS._ _Master Sparrow._ "LOOK THERE, TOM! YOUNG FRED IS ASLEEP!" _Master Sprat._ "YES! POOR LITTLE BEGGAR! WHAT A SHAME IT IS TO KEEP SUCH A MERE CHILD AS THAT UP SO LATE!"] [Illustration: _NOTHING LIKE HORSE EXERCISE._ "NOW, AUNT! TOUCH HIM WITH YOUR LEFT HEEL, AND LET'S HAVE A TROT!"] [Illustration: _A NEW INDUSTRY._ "WHY, JACK! WHAT'S THE MATTER? YOU LOOK DEUCED QUEER!" "YA-AS! YOU SEE, I'VE GONE INTO BUSINESS. I BUY CLAY PIPES AT A PENNY A-PIECE, AND SMOKE 'EM TILL THEY ARE BLACK, AND THEN SELL 'EM FOR A GUINEA: BUT ITS PRECIOUS HARD WORK, I CAN TELL YOU."] [Illustration: _THE NEW FASHION._ _First Coster._ "WHY, JACK! WHAT'S ALL THAT?" _Second Do._ "WELL, I CAN'T SAY! UNLESS ITS _FIREWORKS_!"] [Illustration: _A REAL SOLDIER._ _Friend._ "MY GOOD ALFRED! WHAT THE DEUCE ARE YOU ABOUT?" _Alfred_ (_in the Fusilier Guards_). "WHY, YOU SEE, OLD FELLOW, WE ARE TO HAVE A CORPS OF SCOTCH BAGPIPERS ATTACHED TO THE REGIMENT.--SO I'M TRYING TO ACCOMMODATE MYSELF TO CIRCUMSTANCES, AND GET ACCUSTOMED TO THE NOISE."] [Illustration: _FANCY GOES A GREAT WAY._ "OH, HE'S AN 'ANSUM DOG, BUT HE AIN'T HALF SO 'ANSUM AS HIS BROTHER WERE!"] [Illustration: _FAIR DISPUTANTS._ AN ELEGANT ROW ABOUT A MACHINE.] [Illustration: _BRUTAL LEVITY._ _Jones_ (_who is naturally proud of his first-born_). "A LITTLE DARLING, AIN'T HE?" _Bachelor Friend._ "H'M, HA! I SEE--YOUNG GORILLA! IS HE REAL OR STUFFED?"] [Illustration: _INDOLENCE._ _Old Mr. Dibbs._ "WHY, GEORGE! YOU NEVER RIDE HERE IN THE AFTERNOON--HOW'S THAT?" _Young Swellington._ "NO-O-O. IT LOOKS AS IF ONE HAD SOME OCCUPATION, YOU KNOW, AND COULDN'T WIDE OF A MORNING. I ALWAYS WIDE BEFORE BREAKFAST, BETWEEN ELEVEN AND ONE!"] [Illustration: _THE CENSUS._ _Head of the Family_ (_filling up the paper_). "WELL, MISS PRIMROSE, AS A VISITOR, I MUST PUT YOUR AGE IN! WHAT SHALL WE SAY?" _Miss P._ "OH, IT'S BEST TO BE STRAIGHTFORWARD. THE SAME AS DEAR FLORA--TWENTY LAST BIRTHDAY!"]