_Old Salt (who has got sixpence a-piece out of the children)._ "THERE, MY DEARS, YOU'VE GOT A KITTEN FOR A SHILLUN' AS HAD OUGHT TO 'A BIN SEVIN-AND-SIXPENCE AT LEAST; AND IF YOU'LL MEET ME HERE TO-MORRER AT THE SAME TIME, YOU SHALL HAVE SUCH A BOAT FOR A HALF-A-CROWN AS YOU COULDN'T GET AT A SHOP FOR FIVE BOB!"] [Illustration: _AQUATICS--WHEN THE BEES ARE SWARMING._] [Illustration: _PERSUASIVE._ _Conductor._ "FULL INSIDE, MUM!--ROOM ON THE ROOF, MUM!--ONLY LIKE GOING UP-STAIRS, MUM!" (_But the Old Lady isn't partial to going up-stairs._)] [Illustration: _DIGNITY AND IMPUDENCE._ OFFICIOUS URCHIN RUSHES TO OPEN CARRIAGE-DOOR. JOHN AND THOMAS, TO USE THEIR OWN PHRASE, ARE "COMPLETELY NONPLUSHED!"] [Illustration: _HELPING HIM ON._ _Cruel Fair One (to silent Partner)._ "PRAY! HAVE YOU NO CONVERSATION?"] [Illustration: _A VICTIM TO OVER-EXERTION._ _Standing-up Swell._ "MORNING, CHARLEY! DOING A BIT O' PARK, EH?" _Swell (reclining)._ "YAAS.--YOU SEE I CAN'T DO WITHOUT MY WEGLAR EXERCISE."] [Illustration: _BENEVOLENCE._ MR. PUNCH HAVING HEARD OF THE EXCELLENT QUALITIES OF THE EXMOOR PONIES, PROCURES A FEW FOR THE LITTLE FOLKS!] [Illustration: _UNWELCOME PLEASANTRY._ _Frederick (who, we are sorry to say, is rather fond of chaffing his Brother-in-Law)._ "OH! LOOK HERE, ROBERT, WILL YOU HAVE THIS WITH YOU IN THE CARRIAGE, OR SHALL I PUT IT INTO THE VAN?"] [Illustration: _THE YEOMANRY SERVICE._ MR. WOBBLES, WISHING TO ACCUSTOM HIS HORSE TO THE REPORT OF FIRE-ARMS, MAKES HIS LAD FIRE A GUN AT THE CORNER OF THE LANE. AT FIRST THE EXPERIMENT IS NOT SATISFACTORY.] [Illustration: _THE NICE LITTLE DINNER._ _Tommy (who is standing a feed to Harry)._ "OH, HANG IT, YOU KNOW, FOURTEEN BOB FOR A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE! THAT'S COMING IT RATHER STRONG, AIN'T IT?" _Waiter (with perfect composure)._ "WE HAVE SOME _CHEAP_ WINE, SIR, AT HALF-A-GUINEA."] [Illustration: _A LITTLE FARCE AT A RAILWAY-STATION._ _Lady._ "I WANT ONE TICKET--FIRST!" _Clerk._ "SINGLE?" _Lady._ "SINGLE! WHAT DOES IT MATTER TO YOU, SIR, WHETHER I'M SINGLE OR NOT? IMPERTINENCE!" (_Clerk explains that he meant Single or Return, not t'other thing._)] [Illustration: _A LUCID EXPLANATION._ "WHAT CAN BE THE MATTER WITH THE 'MAGIC,' CHARLES?" "WHY, YOU SEE, DEAR, TOM PUT HIS HELM DOWN RATHER TOO QUICK, AND SHE MISSED STAYS AND WENT ASHORE, AND THEY ARE NOW HAULING THE JIB A-WEATHER TO LET HER FILL AND PAY OFF."] [Illustration: _THE SOCIAL TREADMILL.--THE WEDDING BREAKFAST._] [Illustration: _MASTER AND MAN.--A PRETTY STATE OF THINGS._ _Master (to Swell Groom)._ "OH, SNAFFLES, I WISH TO SHOW THE NEW HORSE TO THIS GENTLEMAN--AND WE SHALL RIDE IN THE AFTERNOON." _Swell Groom._ "VERY SORRY, SIR, BUT THE OSSES ARE LOCKED UP FOR THE PRESENT, SIR! AND WHAT OSSES WAS YOU GOING TO RIDE THIS AFTERNOON? I SHOULDN'T LIKE TO 'AVE _MINE_ OUT IN THE DAMP!"] [Illustration: _BOARD AND LODGING._