_Jolly Post Boy of the Period._ "I SAY, BILL, DON'T YER WISH IT WAS DARBY DAY ALL THE YEAR ROUND?"] [Illustration: _THE GUARDIAN OF THE FIELD._] [Illustration: _THE PIOUS PUBLIC-HOUSE._ (WHERE YOU MAY GET ADULTERATED BEER AND GIN.) A PLACE IN WHICH THE GREAT BREWERS _DON'T_ SEE ANY PARTICULAR HARM] [Illustration: _THE PROFLIGATE PASTRYCOOK'S._ (WHERE THEY SERVE THE DEMORALISING VEAL PIE AND GLASS OF SHERRY, OR FRENCH LIGHT WINE.) TOO SHOCKING TO THINK OF!] [Illustration: _NO. 999 GOVERNMENT TRANSPORT. OFF QUEENSTOWN--VISITORS ON BOARD._ _Party (in cheery tone, calculated to impart confidence to the weaker sex)._ "FOLLOW ME, FOLLOW ME--THERE'S NO CAUSE FOR ALARM, I ASSURE YOU. WOA--WO--WO--MY MAN--STEADY, MARE--WO! (_sotto voce._) I'M DEUCED GLAD IT'S THEIR HEADS INSTEAD OF THEIR HEELS--WO'"] [Illustration: _HONOUR TO THE BRAVE!_ _Flunkey (reads)._ "_Yesterday, thirty of the Invalids from the Crimea were inspected * * * many of the gallant fellows were dreadfully mutilated at the Alma and Inkermann. * * * After the inspection, ten of the Guards were regaled in the Servants' Hall._" _Flunkey (loq.)_. "REGALED IN THE SERVANTS' 'ALL! EH? WELL, I DON'T THINK THEY'VE ANY CALL TO GRUMBLE ABOUT NOT BEIN' 'HONOURED SUFFICIENT!'"] [Illustration: _WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HIM?_ WHY, THE FACT IS, THE STUPID AND GREEDY BOY HAS MISTAKEN FOR JAM, AND SWALLOWED, A RATHER FINE SPECIMEN OF THE ACTINEA EQUINA, OR PURPLE SEA ANEMONE WHICH AUNT FOOZLE HAS BROUGHT FROM THE COAST!] [Illustration: _WEIGHT FOR AGE._ _Nurse_. "DRAT THE CHILD! WHY CANT YER WALK?--YER MORE PLAGUE THAN ALL MY MONEY!"] [Illustration: _BY THE FAST TRAIN._ _Railway Porter._ "ANY LUGGAGE, MISS?" _Young Lady (who is also a leetle fast)._ "YES! PORTMANTEAU, A LITTLE BAY HORSE AND A BLACK RETRIEVER!--AND LOOK HERE, GET ME A HANSOM!"] [Illustration: "_IN THE BAY OF BISCAY, O!_" THE LAST SWEET THINGS IN HATS AND WALKING-STICKS AT BIARRITZ.] [Illustration: _THE GREAT WHISKER-CUTTING MOVEMENT._ _Unhappy Sub._ "BY JOVE, YOU KNOW, AS IF ALDERSHOT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH OF ITSELF, WITHOUT DEPRIVING US OF THE ONLY AMUSEMENT WE HAD!"] [Illustration: _THE LEGAL SOLFEGGIO._ (Musics: IN RE DOE VER SUS RICH ARD ROE.)] [Illustration: _TOO BAD._ _Professor Pumper._ "MAY I ASK, MISS BLANK, WHY YOU ARE MAKING THOSE LITTLE PELLETS?" _Miss B._ "WELL, I DON'T KNOW. IT IS A HABIT I HAVE. I ALWAYS MAKE BREAD PILLS WHEN I FEEL BORED AT DINNER!"] [Illustration: _END OF A FRIEND OF THE FAMILY._] [Illustration: _A SHORT CUT THROUGH THE WOOD._ _Sporting Gent._ "'OUNDS BEEN THROUGH HERE, OLD MAN?" _Old Man._ "YA'AS!" _Sporting Gent._ "'OW LONG?" _Old Man._ "FIVE-AND-TWENTY MINNITS ABOUT!"] [Illustration: _PHEASANT SHOOTING. A WARM CORNER._] [Illustration: _AT DIEPPE._ _Jones._ "H'M! HERE'S A PRETTY TO-DO! CAN'T FIND MY MACHINE NOW!"] [Illustration: _MOSSOO LEARNING TO FLOAT._] [Illustration: _DIVING BELLES._] [Illustration: _BOIS DE BOULOGNE--FOR CAVALIERS ONLY._]