_Cook._ "DO YOU CALL THIS CREAM? WHY IT'S THINNER THAN MILK!" _Milkman._ "OH, ALL IT WANTS IS WELL STIRRING UP--THE CREAM'S AT THE BOTTOM!!"] [Illustration: _IN STATE._] [Illustration: _HUNTING FROM TOWN.--IT IS SAFER TO GO WITH YOUR ANIMAL._ _Railway Porter (reflectively)._ "EARLY TRAIN! LET'S SEE! LITTLE BAY 'OSS, AND A BROWN 'OSS WITH A BIG KNEE? HAH! THEN YOU MAY DEPEND THEY'RE THE 'OSSES AS WENT ON TO YORK!"] [Illustration: _SPORT(?) FOWL SHOOTING._ THE FEROCIOUS PHEASANTS THINK THEY ARE GOING TO BE FED, AND SURROUND THE HONOURABLE MR. BATTUE ACCORDINGLY.] [Illustration: _AN ESCORT._ _Boy._ "NOW, MISSUS, THERE'S NO BUSSES, KITCH 'OLD OF MY HARM, AND I'LL TAKE YER OVER!"] [Illustration: _PLEASANT!_ _Friend (to Novice at Salmon fishing)._ "I SAY, OLD BOY, MIND HOW YOU WADE; THERE ARE SOME TREMENDOUS HOLES, FOURTEEN OR FIFTEEN FEET DEEP."] [Illustration: _PET-LOVE._ _Old--what shall we call her?_--"RUN, ROBERT! RUN! THERE'S THAT DARLING PLAYING WITH A STRANGE CHILD!"] [Illustration: _IMPORTANT MATTER._ _Augustus._ "I SAY, LAURA, JUST TELL US BEFORE ANY ONE COMES, WHETHER MY BACK HAIR'S PARTED STRAIGHT!"] [Illustration: _USEFUL AND ORNAMENTAL._ _Clara (reads)._ "EXCUSE, DEAREST, THE PAPER ON WHICH I WRITE--I HAVE NOT MY DESK WITH ME, SO I SEND YOU THESE FEW HURRIED LINES ON ONE OF MY COLLARS."] [Illustration: _AN IMPOSTOR._ _Wife._ "CHARLES, DEAR. THERE'S A PERSON AT THE DOOR WANTS TO KNOW WHETHER YOU WANT ANY ORNAMENT FOR YOUR FIREPLACE." _Charles._ "MY DARLING! WHAT BETTER ORNAMENT CAN I HAVE THAN YOUR OWN SWEET SELF?" (_The wretch is going to dine at Greenwich with some bachelor friends, for all that._)] [Illustration: _DIGNITY AND IMPUDENCE._] [Illustration: _A NIGHTMARE._ _Vision of the Night._ "ANY FRESH PRAWNS THIS MARNIN?"] [Illustration: _VERY CRUEL SATIRE._ _Mary (maliciously, to her Cousin on leave)._ "HENRY, DEAR! HAVE YOU SEEN THIS ORDER ABOUT REDUCING THE OFFICERS' WHISKERS AT ALDERSHOT? WHAT A SHAME! I'M SURE IF I WERE YOU I SHOULD RESIST IT!" (_Haw_--HENRY _doesn't see the point._)] [Illustration: _YOUNG NORTHAMPTONSHIRE._ _Master Harry (loq.)._ "QUICK THING, THAT! DID YOU FELLOWS SEE IT? I GOT POUNDED!"] [Illustration: _A DEAL._ _Novice._ "OH, YES--HE'S A FINE HORSE; BUT ISN'T HE RATHER BENT ABOUT THE LEGS?" _Dealer._ "BENT ABOUT THE LEGS? STANDS A LITTLE OVER, P'RAPS--BUT THAT AIN'T NO DETTERMENT TO HIM. THE BEST OF OSSES IS SOMETIMES FOALED SO!"] [Illustration: _STARTLING RESULT._ OLD MR. WIGGLES TRIES HIS NEW SEWING-MACHINE, AND FINDS HIS GARMENTS THROW OUT BUTTONS IN A VERY INDISCRIMINATE MANNER.] [Illustration: _COMFORTABLE QUARTERS._ THE HOUR BEFORE DINNER--NOT THE WORST PART OF A DAY'S HUNTING.] [Illustration: _AN UNEXPECTED ARRIVAL._