_Maid._ "OH, COACHMAN! MISSUS SAY, YOU'RE TO COVER YOURSELF WITH THIS RUG, AND NOT TO MOVE OFF THE BOX; BECAUSE YOUR GAITERS AND LEGS AND THINGS ARE REALLY SO VERY SHOCKING."] [Illustration: _A DAY'S AMUSEMENT._ _Driving Lady (loq.)_ "OH, FRANK DEAR, ONLY FANCY, GEORGE HAS GOT SO TIPSY AT THE ARCHERY MEETING, THAT WE'VE BEEN OBLIGED TO PUT HIM INSIDE, AND DRIVE HOME OURSELVES--AND POOR CLARA HAS PINCHED HER FINGERS DREADFULLY PUTTING ON THE DRAG COMING DOWN BLUNSDEN HILL."] [Illustration: _AWFUL TALE OF AN EEL._] [Illustration: _A LITTLE SCENE AT BRUSSELS._ _T·mpk·ns (who has just come down to breakfast)._ "HERE! I SAY, GARSONG! I WANT A KELKCHOSE FOR DEJEWNAY! DER KORFEE, AND DES HOOFS, YOU KNOW!" (_N.B. The Stout Party T. pokes in the ribs is a wealthy Belgian Swell!_)] [Illustration: _FOR-RAD--FOR-RAD--AWAY!_ _Mr. Wuzzel (who the last time he weighed was Nineteen Stone, a sack of Guano, and a Barrowful of Bricks)._ "'FOR-RAD--AWAY!' OH, YES! THAT'S ALL VERY WELL--BUT NOT WITH THE COUNTRY(?) AS HEAVY AS THIS!"] [Illustration: _VERY MUCH AT SEA._] [Illustration: _FREAKS OF A PET DOG._ _Gardener (triumphantly)._ "THAT DOG'S BEEN AND GONE AND DONE IT NOW, MA'AM, I THINK!"] [Illustration: _A STREET FIGHT._ _Wife of his Bussum (to Vanquished Hero)._ "TERENCE, YE GREAT UMMADAWN, WHAT DO YER GIT INTO THIS THRUBBLE FOR?" _Vanquished Hero (to Wife of his Bussum)._ "D'YE CALL IT THRUBBLE, NOW? WHY, IT'S ENGYEMENT!"] [Illustration: _THE LOWEST DEPTH._ _Inebriated Snob (to party with paper lamp)._ "WHICH IS THE WAY--TO--TO--THE P--P--POSES PLASTIQUES? WHY, HALLO! IS THAT YOU, JIM? HOW THE DOOCE DID YOU COME TO THIS?" _Jim._ "WELL--ALL ALONG O' THEM NIGHT PUBLICS. AND HERE I AM--AN 'ILLUMINATED ADVERTISEMENT'!"] [Illustration: _LIKE UNTO LIKE._ _Bacon Fancier._ "THERE, NOW!--THAT'S MY STYLE!"] [Illustration: _BEAR-BAITING._] [Illustration: _A LITTLE BIT OF YORKSHIRE._ _Horse Critic._ "WELL, WILLIAM, THAT'S A NICE-LOOKING COLT, WHOSE IS IT?" _Horse Breaker._ "WELL, SIR, THAT DEPENDS UPON CIRCUMSTANCES." _Critic._ "HOW SO?" _Breaker._ "IF IT TURNS OUT WELL, IT BELONGS TO MR. B. (_the Steward_); BUT YOU KNOW, SIR _(with a sly look)_, IF IT TURNS OUT BAD, IT BELONGS TO MY LORD."] [Illustration: _ANXIOUS TO PRESERVE OUR FIGURE, WE TAKE A TURKISH BATH!_] [Illustration: _HOW TO BOTHER CABBY._ _Fare._ "HOW MUCH? NOW I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY! 'YOU'LL LEAVE IT TO ME,' BUT I WON'T HAVE IT. _I'LL LEAVE IT TO YOU!_"] [Illustration: _SUPERFLUOUS ADVICE._ "DON'T CHECK HER, JACK; GIVE HER HER HEAD."] [Illustration: _A FURNITURE REMOVAL AGENCY._ THINGS HAVE COME TO A PRETTY PASS INDEED, WHEN A DRAWING-ROOM TABLE JUMPS UP, AND AFTER PLAYING A TUNE ON ITS ACCORDION, OFFERS ITS HAND TO THE HOUSEMAID!---- (NOW, WITHOUT ANY OF THE GAMMON OF PUTTING LIGHTS OUT, AND DARKENING THE ROOM, THIS REALLY DID HAPPEN IN BROAD DAYLIGHT--YOU NEEDN'T BELIEVE IT, OF COURSE, UNLESS YOU LIKE.)] [Illustration: _THE FANCY FAIR._