_Eleanor._ "YOU HAD BETTER BUY SOME OF MY CIGARS--COME, TAKE ONE!" _Young Swell._ "A--A--THANKS, NO--I NEVER SMOKE!" _Eleanor._ "WHAT! NOT IF I BITE OFF THE END?"] [Illustration: _AN AFFLICTED ONE._ JOHN CHINAMAN WEEPING OVER HIS TAIL.] [Illustration: _COUNTRY RACES.--AMATEUR PROFESSIONALS._ _Starter._ "YOU'D BETTER BE GOING, SIR; ITS A START!" _Gentleman Rider._ "OH, I'M ORDERED TO RIDE A WAITING RACE, AND I MAY AS WELL WAIT HERE AS ANYWHERE ELSE!"] [Illustration: _AN IDEA FOR A WET DAY._ HANG UP THE CRINOLINES, AND HAVE A GAME OF CROQUET IN THE DINING-ROOM.] [Illustration: _A STUDY OF CRINOLINE._ _Dreadful Boy._ "MY EYE, TOMMY, IF I CAN'T SEE THE OLD GAL'S LEGS THROUGH THE PEEP-HOLES!"] [Illustration: _MOST FLATTERING!_ _Miss Stout._ "YOU SEE, DEAR, I THOUGHT YOUR SWISS DRESS SO PRETTY, THAT I HAVE MADE ONE EXACTLY LIKE IT. WHY, WE SHALL BE TAKEN FOR SISTERS!"] [Illustration: _A HOT CHESTNUT IS VERY GOOD AFTER DINNER, BUT NOT JUST AS THE FOX BREAKS._ _Rough Rider._ "BY YER LEAVE, SIR! MY YOUNG HORSE RUSHES SO IF HE'S KEPT WAITING!"] [Illustration: _SCENE--THE ROW._ JEMIMER HANN IS STARING AT SOLDIER--YOUNG SPOFFINGTON IS BOWING TO GEORGINA MARTINGALE--PERAMBULATOR CHARGES THROUGH YOUNG S.'S LEGS.--SENSATION!] [Illustration: _THE DOG-DAYS!_ _1st Fancier._ "NOW ISN'T HE, GEORGIE!--FOR BREED AND SHAPE AND MAKE, THE MOST LOVELY LITTLE CREATURE?" _2nd Ditto._ "WELL, DEAR, HE CERTAINLY IS VERY HANDSOME, BUT TO MY TASTE MY LITTLE TREASURE PUGGY IS PERFECTION, AND SO AFFECTIONATE!" _3rd Ditto._ "DID THEY PRAISE THE OTHER DOGS?--LITTLE CHARLIE WAS A DARLING; HE WAS, HE WAS, HE WAS!!!"] [Illustration: _THE WIRE FENCE._ (_Dedicated to those Farmers and others in the Shires, who use that treacherous and unsportsmanlike contrivance._)] [Illustration: _A TABLE D'HÔTE AT PARIS._ _Attentive Swell (to elegant and fascinating American Young Lady, who has been monopolising the adjacent Gentlemen all through Dinner)._ "LET ME GIVE YOU SOME OF THIS" (_handing Article of Dessert_). _Belle Américaine._ "NO, THANKS!--WELL, THEN, A VERY LITTLE; FOR _I GUESS I'M PRETTY CROWDED NOW_." (_Horror of Swells; triumph of neighbouring Female British Contingent._)] [Illustration: _A FATUOUS FASHION._ TO SIT UPON A CHAIR, AND HAVE ONE'S HORSE HELD, IS NOW A VEWY FASHIONABLE WAY OF WIDING IN "WOTTON WOW."] [Illustration: _SERVANTGALISM, &c._--No. XVI. _Mary._ "DID YOU CALL, MUM?" _Lady._ "YES, MARY! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO WEAR YOUR HOOP BEFORE YOU HAD DONE YOUR ROOMS, BECAUSE YOU BROKE THE JUGS AND BASINS WITH IT!" _Mary._ "OH, MUM! YOU SEE THE _SWEEPS_ WERE COMING THIS MORNING, AND, REALLY, I COULD NOT THINK OF OPENING THE DOOR TO THEM SUCH A FIGGER AS I SHOULD HA' BEEN WITHOUT MY CRINOLINE!"] [Illustration: _BREAKING THE BYE-LAWS._ _Irritable Elderly Gentleman._ "HOLLO--HOY--CATCH THAT DOG! I'VE A COMPLAINT--WHERE'S THE STATION-MASTER?--UNDER THE BYE-LAWS--IT'S A DOG--HERE, I GIVE THIS MAN INTO CUSTODY."]