_Alice (to Rodolph, or rather, we should say, Jones)._ "NOW MIND, SIR! YOU ARE A VOLUNTEER RIFLEMAN, AND IT ENTIRELY DEPENDS UPON YOUR ATTENTION TO DRILL, WHETHER I GIVE YOU THAT LOCK OF HAIR, OR NOT!"] [Illustration: _VERY CONSIDERATE._ _Mamma (coming down the steps)._ "WHY, CORNBYN! WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS? MISS ALICE PERCHED ON HER PAPA'S BIG HORSE, AND THE PONY BROUGHT FOR ME!" _Cornbyn._ "YES, MA'AM! YOU SEE, MA'AM, MISS ALICE SAID AS YOU WAS RATHER NERVOUS, AND SHE THOUGHT THAT YOU WOULD GET ON BETTER WITH TOM TIT."] [Illustration: _RECREATION FOR THE HORSE GUARDS._ AND HOW MUCH BETTER THAN IDLING IN A PUBLIC-HOUSE, OR FLIRTING WITH MAID SERVANTS.] [Illustration: _ATTEMPTED FRAUD ON THE RAILWAY._ _Boy (about fourteen)._ "HALF TO BRIGHTON." _Clerk._ "ARE YOU ABOVE THIRTEEN?" _Boy._ "NO. ONLY TWELVE LAST----" _Clerk (interrupting)._ "THEN YOU ARE WHOLE PRICE!" (_Sold._)] [Illustration: _THE PLEASURES OF THE SEA._] [Illustration: _THE RIVAL BARRELS._ THREE CHEERS FOR BASS AND HIS BARREL OF BEER, AND OUT WITH THE FOREIGN RUFFIAN AND HIS BARREL-ORGAN!] [Illustration: _HOW NOT TO DO IT._--No. I. THESE ARE THE LITTLE CHILDREN WHO CONVERT THE PARK RAILINGS INTO GYMNASTIC POLES. TO THE CONSTERNATION OF VOKINS'S HORSE!----] [Illustration: No. II. AND THIS IS ONE OF THE HYDE PARK KEEPERS HAVING HIS CARTE DE VISITE TAKEN. (MORAL. _Would it not be better if the Park Keeper attended to his duties a little?_)] [Illustration: _THE BITER BIT._ _First Cabby._ "I'M WAITIN' FOR THE MEEGER, YOUR HONOR!" _Second Ditto (in an audible whisper)._ "B'LIEVE ME, 'TIS THE GINERAL, AND I'M HIS KYAR." _Green (?) Ensign._ "AW--BORE THAT--CAN'T TAKE ME, I SUPPOSE? I'M ONLY A CAPTAIN." (_Hibernians decidedly sold._)] [Illustration: _THE GREAT EXHIBITION._ _Sarah Jane._ "LAWKS! WHY, IT'S HEXACT LIKE OUR HEMMER!"] [Illustration: _A DAY AT BIARRITZ._] [Illustration: _IN SEARCH OF EXCITEMENT._ TRYING THE TOP OF THE MONUMENT ON A WET AFTERNOON.] [Illustration: _THE BLACK DIAMOND--THE REAL MOUNTAIN OF LIGHT!!_] [Illustration: _THE SPORTIVE ELEMENTS._ FOR DOWNRIGHT HEALTHY EXCITEMENT, WE RECOMMEND A DAY'S HUNTING IN A GALE OF WIND.] [Illustration: _DOING A LITTLE BUSINESS._ _Old Equestrian._ "WELL BUT--YOU'RE NOT THE BOY I LEFT MY HORSE WITH!" _Boy._ "NO, SIR, I JIST SPEKILATED, AND BOUGHT 'IM OF T'OTHER BOY FOR A HARPENNY?"] [Illustration: _THE NEW RIDE. FRIGHTFUL SCENE IN KENSINGTON GARDENS!_ SHALL OUR PRIVACY BE INVADED? SHALL OUR CHILDREN BE RIDDEN DOWN BY A BLOODTHIRSTY AND A BLOATED ARISTOCRACY? ARE OUR WIVES, DAUGHTERS, AND DOMESTICS TO BE TORN TO PIECES BY FEROCIOUS MASTIFFS? NEVER! UP THEN! MARROWBONES TO THE RESCUE!] [Illustration: _THE MORNING RIDE._ A NICE SENSATION FOR BRIGHTON.--POP OVER THE RAILS AND HAVE A GALLOP ON THE RACECOURSE.] [Illustration: _IN GOOD SOCIETY._ ARRIVAL OF THOSE DISTINGUISHED "LIONS," THE HIPPOPOTAMUS, AND THE GREAT TORTOISE.] [Illustration: _WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW._