WHAT'S TO BE DONE IN JULY? WHY, RIDE DOWN TO RICHMOND WITH MAMMA AND THE GIRLS, AND GIVE 'EM A LITTLE DINNER, TO BE SURE!] [Illustration: _MOST OFFENSIVE._ _Railway Porter._ "IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, WAS THIS YOUR'N?"] [Illustration: _FRIENDLY PRESCRIPTION._ _Fiend in Human Shape._ "DON'T FEEL WELL! TRY A CIGAR!"] [Illustration: _THE ABUSE OF THE ASPIRATE._ CAPTAIN DE SMITH REMONSTRATES WITH MR. HOLMES, THE VET OF HIS REGIMENT, FOR MAL-PRONUNCIATION OF THE WORD HORSE. TO HIM THE VET: "WELL, IF A _HAITCH_, AND A _HO_, AND A _HAR_, AND A _HESS_, AND A _HE_, DON'T SPELL 'ORSE, MY NAME AIN'T 'ENERY 'OMES!"] [Illustration: "_A CONSUMMATION DEVOUTLY TO BE WISHED._" _Mrs. Colley Wobble._ "H'M, SO THEY ARE GOING TO TAX PEOPLE WHO MAKE THEIR OWN BEER, ARE THEY? THEN I DON'T BREW ANY MORE!"] [Illustration: _POLITE ATTENTION._ _Lady._ "OH, NONSENSE, CHILD--THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE!" _Boy._ "NO, 'M. PLEASE, 'M, TWO YOUNG GENTS SAID IT LOOKED LIKE RAIN, AND I WAS TO FETCH YOU HOME IN THIS 'ERE CHEER!]" [Illustration: _AWKWARD FOR PAPA._ _Papa._ "WELL, MY DEAR, DID YOU TELL MAMMA THAT MISS MYRTLE WAS WAITING TO SEE HER?" _Child._ "YES, PA!" _Papa._ "AND WHAT DID SHE SAY?" _Child._ "SHE SAID, _WHAT A BOTHER!_"] [Illustration: _SUMMER VISITORS._] [Illustration: _THE DISTRICT TELEGRAPH._ INVALUABLE TO THE MAN OF BUSINESS. _First Partner (to Second ditto)._ "WHAT AN AGE WE LIVE IN! TALK OF THE INTRODUCTION OF STEAM OR OF GAS! JUST LOOK AT THE FACILITIES AFFORDED US BY ELECTRICITY. IT IS NOW SIX O'CLOCK AND WE ARE IN FLEET STREET, AND THIS MESSAGE WAS ONLY SENT FROM OXFORD STREET YESTERDAY AFTERNOON AT THREE!"] [Illustration: _RELAXATION._ _Scene--Smoking Room. Country House._ 2·30 A.M. _Country Friend (to Johnson, who has had a long tramp of it in the rain after wild birds)._ "WELL, GOOD NIGHT, OLD FELLOW! IF YOU WON'T HAVE ANOTHER WEED. REMEMBER!--CUB-HUNTING IN THE MORNING, HALF-PAST FIVE. DON'T BE LATE!"] [Illustration: _OLD SCHOOL._ _Mr. Grapes (helping himself to another glass of that fine old Madeira)._ "HAH! WE LIVE IN STRANGE TIMES--WHAT THE DOOCE CAN PEOPLE WANT WITH DRINKING FOUNTAINS!"] [Illustration: _DABBLING._ _Master Jack (to very refined Governess, who has suddenly appeared)._ "OH, MISS FINNIKIN, DO COME IN; IT'S SO AWFULLY JOLLY!"] [Illustration: _HOW TO MAKE A WATERING-PLACE PLEASANT, PARTICULARLY TO INVALIDS._ TIME, 6·30 A.M. (_A Hint to the Powers that be at Sandbath._)] [Illustration: _IN THE VOLUNTEERS._ _Small Effective._ "--AND THEN, JUST LOOK AT THE IMMENSE IMPROVEMENT IN THE PERSONAL APPEARANCE OF OUR FELLOWS!"] [Illustration: _A DAY'S PLEASURE._ OH! ISN'T IT DELIGHTFUL, GETTING YOUR BOOTS OFF AFTER A THOROUGH WET DAY'S HUNTING!] [Illustration: _SEA-SIDE STUDIES._