_Impertinent Cousin (reads)._ "_'The rocks along our Coast may be seen studded with these beautiful zoophites. * * * The skin is soft, and the tentacles are of the finest violet, mingled often with pink, mauve, green, and yellow; indeed the colours vary so much in different individuals, all alike beautiful, that it is impossible to describe them rigidly. * * * During the ebb of the tide, these creatures may be contemplated on a fine day to great advantage, and few spectacles are calculated to afford more pleasure to a lover of Nature._'--H'M!--HERE ARE TWO LOVELY SPECIMENS, FRED! YOU TAKE ONE, AND I'LL TAKE THE OTHER!"] [Illustration: _CONSIDERATE ATTENTION._ _Paterfamilias (who is stout and a Volunteer also)._ "OHO! MY NEW UNIFORM--COME HOME, I SEE!" _Family._ "YES, PA DEAR! AND WE'VE TRIED IT ON THE WATER-BUTT, AND IT LOOKS SO NICE!"] [Illustration: _PORTRAIT OF A CERTAIN STUDENT WHO IS READING SO HARD AT THE SEA-SIDE._] [Illustration: _THE LAST DAY AT THE SEA-SIDE.--PACKING UP._ _Maid (to Paterfamilias.)_ "PLEASE, SIR, MISSUS SAY YOU'RE TO COME IN, AND SIT ON THE BOXES; BECAUSE WE CAN'T GET 'EM TO, AND THEY WANTS TO BE CORDED."] [Illustration: _"WELL! THE BOLDNESS OF SOME PEOPLE!"--A SKETCH ON THE BRIGHTON COAST._] [Illustration: _AN EXCESS OF CLEANLINESS._ _Old Party (very naturally excited)._ "WHY, CONFOUND YOU! YOU ARE WIPING MY PLATE WITH YOUR HANDKERCHIEF!" _Waiter (blandly)._ "IT'S OF NO CONSEQUENCE, SIR--IT'S ONLY A DIRTY ONE!"] [Illustration: _THE LAST SWEET THING IN HATS._] [Illustration: _A GROUND SWELL._ _Party (who doesn't suffer)._ "BRACING! AIN'T IT, JACK? I ALWAYS THINK THAT THE BEAUTY OF SAILING IS, YOU GET AIR AND MOTION WITHOUT FATIGUE. DON'T YOU THINK SO. EH?" (_Circumstances over which he has no control prevent Jack from speaking his mind._)] [Illustration: _AN EXPERIMENT ON A VILE BODY._ _Medical Pupil (after dragging a patient round the surgery, succeeds in extracting a tooth)._ "COME! THAT'S NOT SO BAD FOR A FIRST ATTEMPT!"] [Illustration: _EXTRAVAGANCE._ "NOW, YOUNG UNS, CUT AWAY--BLOW THE EXPENSE!"] [Illustration: _SCENE IN A MODERN STUDIO._ JACK ARMSTRONG HAS PAINTED A MODERN SUBJECT, FROM REAL LIFE, AND PAINTED IT UNCOMMONLY WELL.--STRANGE TO SAY, HE HAS SOLD HIS PICTURE. MESSRS. FEEBLE AND POTTER (_very high-art men, who can't get on without mediæval costume, and all the rest of it_) THINK IT A MISTAKE.--CURIOUSLY ENOUGH, _THEIR_ PICTURES ARE UNSOLD!] [Illustration: _SOMETHING LIKE A DESCRIPTION._ _Young Stickleback._ "POR-TAW! HAVE YOU SEEN A FRIEND OF MINE WAITING ABOUT HE-AW?" _Porter._ "FRIEND, SIR! WHAT SORT OF GENTLEMAN WAS HE?" _Young Stickleback._ "HAW! TALL--MILITARY-LOOKING MAN, WITH MOUSTACHERS--SOMETHING LIKE ME!"] [Illustration: _GONE AWAY!_ _Old Coachman._ "NOW, MISS ELLEN! MISS ELLEN! YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PA SAID! YOU WAS TO TAKE THE GREATEST CARE OF JOEY!" _Miss Ellen._ "SO I WILL, ROBERT! AND THAT'S WHY I AM TAKING HIM OFF THE NASTY HARD ROAD, POOR THING!"]