[Illustration: _NEW LEATHERS, TOO!_ _Jones (very particular man)._ "H'M! THIS COMES OF BRINGING DOWN A BOTTLE OF HUNTING VARNISH FOR A FRIEND!"] [Illustration: _FANCY SKETCH._ THE PARTY WHO OBJECTS TO THE NEW RIDE IN KENSINGTON GARDENS--AND WON'T HE SPOUT AT THE VESTRY!] [Illustration: _A PROPER PRECAUTION._ _Mistress._ "THERE, SIR! THERE'S A BOTTLE OF EAU DE COLOGNE FOR YOU, AND DON'T LET ME HAVE OCCASION TO COMPLAIN AGAIN!" _Stirrups (the Party who looks after the Horse and Chaise)._ "YES, MUM; BUT BE OI TO DRINK IT?" _Mistress._ "NO, SIR; YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT AT TABLE TO-NIGHT, AND YOU ARE TO SPRINKLE IT OVER YOUR BEST LIVERY, THAT YOU MAY NOT BRING INTO THE HOUSE THAT DREADFUL EFFLUVIUM FROM THE STABLE THAT YOU HAVE HITHERTO DONE!"] [Illustration: _A PROBLEM FOR YOUNG LADIES._ GIVEN, THE ELEGANT REGINALD FIPPS, WHO USED TO WALTZ SO BEAUTIFULLY, PERFORMING THE ABOVE KINDLY AND MOST NEEDFUL OPERATION, AT THE END OF A PIER, WHILE THE BAND IS PLAYING--WHAT RELATION IS HE TO THE DARLING OPERATED UPON?] [Illustration: _A COINCIDENCE._ AS LITTLE GRIGLEY IS ON HIS WAY TO CALL UPON THOSE JOLLY GURLS HE MET ON NEW YEAR'S EVE, HE THINKS HE WILL HAVE HIS BOOTS TOUCHED UP. JUST AS THE POLISHING BEGINS, THE JOLLY GURLS COME ROUND THE CORNER. "DOOCED AWKWARD! WASN'T IT?" AS LITTLE GRIGLEY SAID.] [Illustration: _YOUNG ENGLAND._ _Henry._ "I SAY, CHARLEY, WHERE DO YOU DINE TO-NIGHT?" _Charley._ "AW, DINE WITH YOUR BROTHER!" _Henry._ "DOOSE YOU DO--WORST WINE I EVER DRUNK IN MY LIFE!" _Charley._ "BY JOVE, THEN, YOU NEVER DINED WITH MY GOVERNOR!"] [Illustration: _POOR LITTLE FELLOW!_ _Emily._ "WANT SOMETHING TO AMUSE YOU! WHY, I HAVE GIVEN YOU BOOK AFTER BOOK, AND LENT YOU MY PAINT-BOX, AND I'VE OFFERED TO TEACH YOU YOUR NOTES. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?" _Augustus._ "OH, AH! I DON'T CALL THAT AMUSEMENT. I WANT SOME FIGS! OR SOME GINGERBREAD NUTS! OR A GOOD LOT OF TOFFEE!! THAT'S WHAT I CALL AMUSEMENT."] [Illustration: _HELD IN CHECK._] [Illustration: _ONE OF THE RIGHT SORT._ _Grandmamma._ "WHAT _CAN_ YOU WANT, ARTHUR, TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL SO PARTICULARLY ON MONDAY FOR? I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO STAY WITH US TILL THE END OF THE WEEK!" Arthur. "WHY, YOU SEE, GRAN'MA--WE ARE GOING TO ELECT OFFICERS FOR OUR RIFLE CORPS ON MONDAY, AND I DON'T LIKE TO BE OUT OF IT!"] [Illustration: _A TERRIBLE THREAT._ _Master Jack._ "NOW THEN, CHARLOTTE, ARE YOU GOING TO LEND ME YOUR PAINT BOX?" _Charlotte._ "NO, SIR. YOU KNOW WHAT A MESS YOU MADE OF IT LAST TIME!" _Master Jack._ "VERY WELL. THEN I'LL PUT MY GUINEA PIG ON YOUR NECK!"] [Illustration: _ON THE WAY TO THE PARK._] [Illustration: _FIRST DAY OF THE SEASON._ _Aunt Sally (who is very particular)._ "WELL, DEAR, DID YOU HAVE A NICE RIDE?"