This was the talk I heard in the home when I stopped by sometimes of an
evening on my way to my room, and found some of his friends arguing with
him over their steins and pipes, and urging a stand against the director
and a demand that he accede to their wishes. The old drummer himself
stood out stoutly. The director had always been kind to him and to them,
he insisted. He was a good man and took pride in the orchestra, as much
pride as he himself did. But I could see that he was growing soured. He
drank more beer and practised less. Moreover, he talked more of money,
which once he had scarcely ever mentioned. But the atmosphere was
telling; the mildew was appearing. And in this haunt of peace, peace was
gone.
I learned from Loewen one evening that in the event of the strike not
being settled soon, there was a chance of a sympathetic strike of all
trades, and that even the musicians might join in it, for they had
"grievances also."
"But I thought Music was not a trade, but a profession, an art?" I said,
quoting a phrase I had overheard him use. He raised his shoulders and
threw out his hands palm upward.
"Ach! it vas vonce."
"Then why is it not now?"
"Ach! Who knows? Because they vill not haf it so. Ze music iss dead--ze
harmony iss all gone--in ze people--in ze heart! Zere iss no more music
in ze souls of ze people. It iss monee--monee--monee--fight, fight,
fight, all ze time! Who can gife ze divine strain ven ze heart is set on
monee always?"
Who, indeed? I thought, and the more I thought of it the more clearly I
felt that he had touched the central truth.
XXIX
MY CONFESSION
It is said that every woman has in her nature something feline. I will
not venture on so sweeping an assertion; but I will say that one of the
sex was never excelled by any feline in her ability to torture and her
willingness to tease the victim of her charms.
When I met Eleanor Leigh next after the memorable session on the dusty
steps, I could not tell for my life what were her feelings toward me.
They were as completely veiled as though she had been accustomed from
her infancy to enfold herself in impenetrable mystery. There was a
subtle change in her manner profoundly interesting to me, but what it
denoted I could not in the least discover, and every effort on my part
to do so was frustrated with consummate art. She did not look at me and
at moments appeared oblivious of my presence. She talked more than ever
before of John Marvel, varied at times by admiring allusions to Leo
Wolffert, until I almost began to hate them both. And all the while, she
was so exasperatingly natural and innocent. A man may be a true friend
to another, ready to serve him to the limit and may wish him all the
happiness in the world, and yet may not desire the girl who has become
his sun, moon and stars to appear to draw her light from his source. So,
presently, like any other worm, I turned.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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