"I see," I said. "And you want to calibrate and differentiate without the necessity of practicing on the side to provide funds. So you invented the one-armed bandit with the Johns Hopkins accent to tide you over. Right?" "Right!" "You have made one mistake in the means to your end," I told him. "Now I have a plan." They both leaned forward, a little too far, I realize now. * * * * * My report caused quite a sensation. The ten-man board read it and called me almost at once to clarify verbally what I had hinted to be a likely solution to our dilemma, namely: A desirable alternative to facing a mortifying legal action in restraining the present use of the Symptometer. When I entered the rich, old mahogany chambers, the chairman pointed to the lecture stand. He was goateed and morbidly curious. Before I could clear my throat he urged impatiently, "Get at it, boy. What's this business of skinning a cat you mentioned?" "Honorable Doctors," I began self-consciously, "you all realize the legal difficulties with which we are faced. Before we face them, I give you the suggestion that we prevail upon the inventor of the Symptometer to license its manufacture for use only in medical clinics. Having operated the machines I can testify that the results of the questioning of these devices can be definitely informational and could assist a physician in more rapid diagnosis and treatment." I held up my hand to silence the horrified grunts of disapproval. "Let me continue, please. A few minor changes in the recording mechanism would enable the equipment to produce a coded card. This, without a physician's attention, would direct the clinical staff to perform the necessary laboratory functions to verify or disprove the indicated symptoms. With this card and the results of the clinical examination in his possession, the physician then meets the patient for the first time. He has been spared the preliminary examination, the redundant, lengthy interview in which madame hypochondriac recapitulates the history of her hives or biliousness. "Naturally, the coin operation of the machine would be eliminated. But there is no need for a doctor to adjust his fees downward because he performs his work more efficiently, now is there? And with the Symptometer at his disposal, a physician should be able to easily double the number of office calls per hour. "What does this do for the doctor? It frees him from so much of the annoying drudgery of patient interviewing. It eliminates the wait from first interview to final consultation. It keeps the laboratory details in their proper place. In short, it makes a true executive of the physician." My eloquence was beginning to tell. All these men had long practices behind them. The practical advantages were undeniable. The important point, however, was that my radical suggestion did offer a less distressing alternative to bringing this into court.