Wall, that wuz quite another thing; we owned that ary cuss Who'd worked f'r Mr. Dana _must_ be good enough for _us_! And so we tuk the stranger's word 'nd nipped him while we could, For if _we didn't_ take him we knew John Arkins _would_-- And Cooper, too, wuz mousin' round for enterprise 'nd brains, Whenever them commodities blew in across the plains. At any rate, we nailed him--which made ol' Cooper swear And Arkins tear out handfuls uv his copious curly hair-- But _we_ set back and cackled, 'nd had a power uv fun With our man who'd worked with Dana on the Noo York Sun. It made our eyes hang on our cheeks 'nd lower jaws ter drop Ter hear that feller tellin' how ol' Dana run his shop; It seems that Dana was the biggest man you ever saw-- He lived on human bein's 'nd preferred to eat 'em raw! If he had democratic drugs to take, before he took 'em, As good old allopathic laws prescribe, he allus shook 'em! The man that could set down 'nd write like Dana never grew And the sum of human knowledge wuzn't half what Dana knew. The consequence appeared to be that nearly everyone Concurred with Mr. Dana of the Noo York Sun. This feller, Cantell Whoppers, never brought an item in-- He spent his time at Perrin's shakin' poker dice f'r gin; Whatever the assignment, he wuz allus sure to shirk-- He wuz very long on likker and all-fired short on work! If any other cuss had played the tricks he dare ter play, The daisies would be bloomin' over his remains to-day; But, somehow, folks respected him and stood him to the last, Considerin' his superior connections in the past; So, when he bilked at poker, not a sucker drew a gun On the man who'd worked with Dana on the Noo York Sun. Wall, Dana came ter Denver in the fall uv '83-- A very different party from the man we thought ter see! A nice 'nd clean old gentleman, so dignerfied 'nd calm-- You bet yer life he never did no human bein' harm! A certain hearty manner 'nd a fullness uv the vest Betokened that his sperrits 'nd his victuals wuz the best; His face was so benevolent, his smile so sweet 'nd kind, That they seemed to be the reflex uv an honest, healthy mind, And God had set upon his head a crown uv silver hair In promise of the golden crown He meaneth him to wear; So, uv us boys that met him out 'n Denver there wuz none But fell in love with Dana uv the Noo York Sun.