But when he came to Denver in that fall uv '83 His old friend, Cantell Whoppers, disappeared upon a spree; The very thought uv seein' Dana worked upon him so (They hadn't been together fer a year or two, you know) That he borrowed all the stuff he could and started on a bat, And, strange as it may seem, we didn't see him after that. So when ol' Dana hove in sight we couldn't understand Why he didn't seem to notice that his crony wa'n't on hand; No casual allusion--not a question, no, not one-- For the man who'd "worked with Dana on the Noo York Sun"! We broke it gently to him, but he didn't seem surprised-- Thar wuz no big burst uv passion as we fellers had surmised; He said that Whoppers wuz a man he didn't never heerd about, But he might have carried papers on a Jersey City route-- And then he recollected hearin' Mr. Laflin say That he fired a man named Whoppers fur bein' drunk one day, Which, with more likker _underneath_ than money in his vest, Had started on a freight train fur the great 'nd boundin' West-- But further information or statistics he had none Uv the man who'd "worked with Dana on the Noo York Sun." We dropped the matter quietly 'nd never made no fuss-- When we get played fer suckers--why, that's a horse on us! But every now 'nd then we Denver fellers have to laff To hear some other paper boast uv havin' on its staff A man who's "worked with Dana"--'nd then we fellers wink And pull our hats down on our eyes 'nd set around 'nd think. It seems like Dana couldn't be as smart as people say If he educates so many folks 'nd lets 'em get away; And, as for us, in future we'll be very apt to shun The man who "worked with Dana on the Noo York Sun"! But, bless ye, Mr. Dana! may you live a thousan' years, To sort o' keep things lively in this vale of human tears; An' may I live a thousan', too--a thousan', less a day, For I shouldn't like to be on earth to hear you'd passed away. And when it comes your time to go you'll need no Latin chaff Nor biographic data put in your epitaph; But one straight line of English and of truth will let folks know The homage 'nd the gratitude 'nd reverence they owe; You'll need no epitaph but this: "Here sleeps the man who run That best 'nd brightest paper, the Noo York Sun." A DEMOCRATIC HYMN. Republicans of differing views Are pro or con protection; If that's the issue they would choose, Why, we have no objection. The issue we propose concerns Our hearts and homes more nearly: A wife to whom the nation turns And venerates so dearly. So, confident of what shall be, Our gallant host advances, Giving three cheers for Grover C. And three times three for Frances!