Mushanmilk Billings waz one ov mi earliest efforts in the way ov ansesstors. He was begot during the 11th or 12th sentury, or thareabouts. He derived hiz name from hiz grate ability tew conquer mush and milk. Titus Odistes, a celebrated writer in thoze days, sez he haz known him tew eat a potash kittle ov puddin and milk, at one sitting. I kant state whether this iz sutch or not, for i never met Mushanmilk personally. He died previous tew mi birth. Titus Odistes also sez, that Mushanmilk had a very sweet disposishun, how sweet, he dont tell us, but from what i kno ov the latter-day saints, amung the Billings family, it couldn't hav bin quite up tew the best brand ov Nu Orleans mollassiss. He waz sed tew be number One in modesty, and sitch like, but this dont exackly conspire with what i know ov the Billings'es. Cheeck haz alwus been reckoned amung our virtews. In taking a square look bak upon mi ansesstors, i find that they were rather a thin set. I find that their _ambishun_ waz the result ov _vanity_. Their _honesty_ the effekt ov _edukashun_. Their _charity_, the luv ov _novelty_. Their _philosophy_, able tew bear the stummuk-ake ov others with heroik fortitude, but not worth a kuss in their own; and their _virteus_ generally, more the growth ov their _pride_ than ov their _humility_. What a pitty! Echo answers, "Jiss so." Man iz an angleworm. He iz. Verily. * * * * * _MORAL._ Thare aint to-day, so just a vittle, Az mush,--rite hot, from out the kittle. 31 Days. DECEMBER. 1874. Q.--Define salt kodfish? @ @ @ A.--Vittles and----drink. @ @ @ [Illustration] _Instid ov this, how trew it tis, The skoolmaster iz treated, Like one we owe 50 dollars, And wont admit we've cheated._